L.A. - Madrid Files

In L.A. This Would Be A Problem

2011-10-11T12:36:00.000-07:00

So I was in the metro the other day and I see this girl sitting in front of me. She is maybe about 17 - 20 years old, sitting with a nerdy looking guy. Nothing too out of the ordinary except she seemed to be packing two Smith and Wesson 9 mm police issue semi- automatics. Yes, she definitely is. One in an under arm carry position - perfect to hide under a suit jacket, and another strapped to her leg.

This may be no problem in Texas - although two hand guns is kind of excessive even there. But I do know that in L.A. there would be a major problem if she encountered our friendly neighborhood LAPD (police). They really don't like people walking around with very real looking - but fake - guns. Actually, they tend to shoot people waving those around.

Not sure if this is some kind of Madrid fashion statement. Thoughts?

Hey, I saw this one..

2011-04-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

Hey, I saw this O'Reilly factor segment on the Spanish Breast Feeding Doll and I don't remember any "Rage" or any talk about the doll "Inciting Pedophelia". I did hear them say that perhaps six year old girls should not be thinking about breast feeding and maybe they should be little girls first. Besides, I thought it was sexist to train all little girls to be mothers?

But I'm sure El Pais would never mislead their readers about a Fox news report though... Right?

It's Rough Out There for Young Spanish People

2011-01-18T16:19:00.000-08:00

Interesting Article in the New York Times. Pretty right on I'm afraid - and it has been like this for as long as I can remember. Employment laws meant to "protect the worker" have ended up screwing young people. Employers won't hire because they can't fire anyone if the business climate changes. At the same time, everyone runs around obsessing about the "permanent job" a concept that has never existed in the U.S. save some government employees - and that is changing too.

I like what this guy says regarding pensions, healthcare and what will happen when Spain's low birthrate continues:

“What we have is a Ponzi scheme,” said Laurence J. Kotlikoff, an economist at Boston University and an expert in fiscal policy. He said that pay-as-you-go social security and health care were a looming fiscal disaster in Southern Europe and beyond. “If these fertility rates continue through time, you won’t have Italians, Spanish, Greeks, Portuguese or Russians,” he said. “I imagine the Chinese will just move into Southern Europe.”

Fire'em All!

2010-12-03T17:06:00.000-08:00

I know it will never happen. There is no way Zapatero has the cashews, but he should pull a Reagan and fire all the air traffic controllers. They should be thankful they have a job.

For anyone who is not, shall we say .... OK, as old as me, in 1981 the air traffic controllers in the US tried to pull this same stunt. Reagan gave them 48 hours to return to work and when they didn't he fired 11,000 striking controllers. They hired new people, they used the military to fill in, etc. and it all worked out.... except for the guys who got fired.

El Roto Thinks the Same as Me?

2010-04-21T07:39:00.000-07:00

I don't see any good coming from Spain's Historical Memory Law, the one that literally looks for the buried bodies from the past. A lot of nasty shit went down during the civil war - on both sides. Now that PSOE is in power, they are looking for all the nasty stuff that Franco did. As soon as PP gets back in there, will they start looking for the nasty stuff the communists did on behalf of the Republic?

If I am reading El Roto correctly, and that usually is not an easy task, it seems he also doesn't think the wounds from the war last through the generations.

Maybe it's time to, if not forgive or forget, time to move on and solve some present problems?

Really? They Still Don't Ask a Native Speaker?

2010-04-17T08:12:00.000-07:00

It seems like such a simple thing to do. Let's say I'm a Spanish advertising executive and I have a great idea building on Obama's famous campaign slogan, "Yes We Can", and oh yeah, I really don't speak English - I just think I do. Why wouldn't I run my idea past a couple of native speakers? In fact, why aren't there native speakers on staff of my advertising firm if I am selling English language ads?

We all know that this used to happen all the time in Spain, the English on commercials, bill boards, t-shirts, etc. just isn't quite right, but in 2010, on a big ad campaign, this still happens?

What's funny about this story is the supposed English language expert from the Complutense University tries to correct the awkward "Yes We Want!" slogan and she still gets it wrong...

They could have found any American student on the street or Brit in a pub, to tell them that the correct response to, "We want to learn another language!" is... "YES WE DO!"

Just a Picture - Sol Finally Finished

2010-01-02T01:32:00.000-08:00

Okupa Nightmare

2009-11-20T07:31:00.001-08:00

Can someone please tell me how this is possible? Do Spanish authorities live in some parallel universe where normal logic doesn't apply?

These people live in an apartment for 21 years, they go on vacation and have to rush back because Okupas have taken over their place. How long does it take to get the lowlifes out? 16 months! My favorite quote is when the judge on the case wouldn't evict the criminals because, "The squatters don't have funds to find another place"!

"Human rights" have run amok. No wonder no one will rent out an apartment in Spain. You can't even get people you didn't rent to - out of your piso.

If this happens to me I might be going to jail because I'm going in my place swinging a baseball bat.

Burying your Lead

2009-10-22T07:18:00.001-07:00

On the front page of El Pais' English language Herald we have this story headline. Sounds like another boring budget article:
Continue to page 3 and now the story says "One in Five Spaniards Lives in Poverty"

Sounds like that whole "living in poverty" thing should be the lead of the story - but then El Pais would be reporting bad news about the current situation and government handling of it - can't have that can we?

No More Free Porn - Big Daddy Says

2009-10-20T07:56:00.000-07:00

Spain's Big Daddy, the European Union, says no more free porn on open air broadcast TV. The fun ends in 2010. The children (Spain) must behave and start acting like adults.

I wrote about this before here. The truth is I really could not believe that complete hard-core porno was on the air after around 11:00 pm. Obviously there are children awake at 11:00 PM in Spain that could watch it.

What's becoming obvious about the European Union is - they really are in control. All the bans and rules and regulations are coming, and will come from them and Spain really just has to say, "Yes sir"! Even if there is a so-called vote on EU rules, if the EU does not like the outcome they will just have another election until it turns out like they want.

So be prepared Spain for a whole bunch of changes coming from Big Daddy EU. Porno, booze laws, smoking, bullfighting of course, environmental laws, what else?

A Black Dove? El Pais?

2009-10-09T06:38:00.000-07:00

Ok. I'm as surprised as anyone that Barack Obama received the Nobel Peace Prize after only a few months on the job. Man, Europe really, really, hated George Bush. Just having a new guy in there is getting them way excited - even if he hasn't done anything yet. Excited enough to give him the Nobel Peace Prize for ... not being Bush.

But what is going on with this Black Dove cartoon in El Pais by Forges? Or maybe it's a crow? Is it absolutely necessary to continue to obsess on this president's "Blackness"?

They really do not have a clue on how to deal with - or start ignoring - race do they?

C'mon El Roto, Is It Really the Same Thing?

2009-09-23T07:07:00.000-07:00

Well, El Roto, if there ever are Christian fundamentalists in the hills of Albacete who are chopping the heads off of non-Christians, blowing up girls' schools or killing girls who go to school, burying women accused of adultery up to their necks then stoning them to death, and just generally imposing their will on anyone and everyone - or you are dead .... and the Spanish authorities would not, or could not, do anything about it ... Then I would be OK with some Afghan troops coming to Spain to help us out.

I Absolutely would.

Prostitution Slaves from Abroad

2009-09-17T07:12:00.001-07:00

Some brilliant logic from "Equality Minister" Bibiana Aido here. She says that since 90 percent of Spain's prostitutes are from abroad and a lot of them are even slaves - the problem is not that prostitution is essentially legal in Spain (thereby creating a market) no, the problem is that there are evil people who come to take advantage of this market (the pimps).

Hmm let's see, if the market didn't exist would the pimps be enslaving woman? Forcing them to have sex for money? Can you believe they are even discussing the fact that there are slaves in modern day Spain without batting an eye?

I really don't understand this misplaced "freedom" Spain gives women in regards to prostitution. I guess it has something to do with a woman being able to do what she wants with her body - if she wants to hook, fine. The problem is.... men then turn them into slaves - nice freedom!

How does Spain combat this problem? By outlawing prostitution? No, they try to tell low-life scumbags (the male customers) to ... "Please don't exploit women, it's not nice, please don't bang hookers in the street..."

How's that working out? Not very well. Check out this article and photos in El Pais...

Poor Bastard ...

2009-09-14T20:18:00.000-07:00

Of course there are always two sides to every story but ... poor bastard. Maybe he is a wife beating son of a bitch, and I know there are children involved, but since I'm a man I'm thinking he is a poor bastard.

California used to be the center of the "woman takes your stuff" universe. But I have heard many stories like this one in Spain. I think Spain now tops California. In Spain it seems if there are children involved, the house and the kids go to the woman no matter what - and the man pays.

There must be some middle ground where both sides are able to have a life.

A Simpler Metro Time

2009-09-01T07:25:00.001-07:00

Take a look at that map. It's a beautiful and simple thing. This is the Madrid Metro as it existed in 1982. Looking at this map, it seems like maybe you could actually visit a good number of the stops - it's just not that complicated. This is how I saw the Madrid Metro when I first came to Spain.

Is it me or does the current Metro Map give you a headache?
Sure, you can go to a lot of places but it's a mess graphically. It also has nothing to do with the actual location of the stops in relation to each other. They need to make a simple "Centro only" metro map - something that can fit on a T-shirt.

Hey, notice how on the 1982 Metro map the stop for "Gran Via" on Line 1 was named "Jose Antonio" (an infamous Fascist). They changed it sometime in the late 80's? Perhaps the very first move for the future Historical Memory Law.

Alright, I will not cling to the past. Change is good, right? But it was a good looking map.

Does Anyone Know What This Means?

2009-07-23T17:37:00.000-07:00

Unbelievable Horror

2009-07-14T13:27:00.000-07:00

I have a friend in Madrid who was telling me a story about her mother who went into the hospital for a routine foot ailment - I don't know an ingrown toenail or something - she said that her mother got Hepatitis B in the hospital but it was no big deal this happened all the time. Naturally, being from the land of the lawyers, I was kind of shocked by her nonchalant attitude to her mother contracting Hepatitus B in the hospital due to unsanitary conditions.

Now this. This is really too much. This guy's wife had swine flu and went to the emergency room at least three times before they finally told her that Oh yeah, you have swine flu. By then it was too late - she died. What else? She was pregnant too. The good news? The baby was born healthy - no swine flu, the bad news? The nurse gave the premature baby milk formula intravenously instead of into the stomach through the nose - Result? Baby dead too.

I can't even begin to understand how this guy feels - but that picture gives me a clue.

What Cops Should Look Like

2009-06-18T05:37:00.000-07:00

I once wrote about how Spain seems to have better looking women working in government or doing non-traditional jobs such as security guards, mail carriers, etc. - and was roundly criticized for my trouble in the comment section as being "desperate". Well - no comment on the desperate part - but take a look at that friendly officer and I rest my case.

I'm just saying that L.A. lady cops do not look like that, but maybe they are just hiding their attributes behind bullet proof vests.

End of the Bullfight?

2009-05-25T06:34:00.000-07:00

Here is one part of globalization that I don't think the Americans can be blamed for. There are real live Spanish people who want the Bullfight to end and I'm sure the powers that be in the European Union would like to see it gone too.

I personally would still like Spain to be "different" - as the old tourism ad campaign once said. But I recognize that the Bullfight's days are numbered.

I See a Movie Coming Out of This One

2009-05-01T06:52:00.000-07:00

Two sixty year old woman partying on a luxury cruise, throwing money around and picking up old guys (or young) - all the while packing 27 kilos of cocaine.

There have to be millions of great plot lines to follow in this scenario for some talented (or hack) writer from Hollywood or Madrid.

I'm telling you there's a bad movie in there somewhere.

Personal Story

2009-04-23T20:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I was asked by my lawyer if I would let his son have a vacation in Piso Madrid for a coupla weeks. The son was living somewhere in France and was ending his stay there. My lawyer wanted to give the son and his fiancé a vacation in Madrid. What am I going to do? I don’t really like to let people stay in Piso Madrid but gotta keep the lawyer happy, I may need him.

I don't really like having anyone over who I don't know - well. But I have to get over it, so I said, "Sure". I know this does not sound like a big deal, but I stressed out about it. There are several things that could go wrong (in my mind at least). I imagined the worse case scenarios, like the calefaccion breaking down and everyone dying from carbon monoxide poisoning. I realize this is ridiculous and paranoid, but there it is.

So, they came and went - and I guess they liked it (although not much was said about if they enjoyed it, etc.) The fact is they can't really appreciate 20 years of planning and work - culminating in the stupid Piso in the center of Madrid. They hung out and went to Semana Santa processions and then they returned back to the states – or France or where ever. But what pissed me off is the keys. Namely, they were mailed back to me in a flimsy “airmail” envelope. The really thin kind to save weight. Now let me explain Piso Madrid keys to the uninitiated. I have a “puerta blindada” and the key to this kind of door is a major-league, big-ass key, along with the key to the door to the street. You can’t put those keys in flimsy "airmail" envelope and expect them to arrive in one piece. Well, they did not arrive. I got a very nice envelope - empty - ripped open - and no keys.

Sorry, but that pisses me off. I’ll get over it. End of personal story. Now I have to send my friend Fernando over there to make sure the water in the tub was not left running.

Earthquakes in the News

2009-04-11T07:28:00.000-07:00

As I wrote before, earthquakes and the way they build in Italy and Spain don't mix too well.

Spain Picking a Fight with 800 Pound Gorilla

2009-03-29T07:43:00.000-07:00

Baltasar Garzon, the most famous Spanish judge (which I think is more like a special prosecutor in the U.S.) has decided to go after the Yanquis for crimes allegedly committed at Guantanamo. He says there are six Americans from the attorney general on down who put together the whole legal basis for Guantanamo / possible torture. Why he isn't going after Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld - I don't know. Perhaps those fish are too big for him.

I wonder how Baltasar chooses which crimes to prosecute? Haven't heard anything about genocide in Darfur for example, or an arrest warrant for Osama Bin Laden.

I can imagine what would happen if we started looking into a few issues in Spain, there would be some very loud yelling going on if we did. Let’s see, we could investigate atrocities committed on both sides in the Spanish civil war, or perhaps Felipe Gonzalez’s alleged involvement in some nasty assassinations of Basques in the GAL incident. Actually, I personally would like to look into the wonton destruction of the Spanish coastline by real estate speculators with help from corrupt government officials – I think that is a crime against the international community.

I guess Garzon has nothing left to do in Spain. All is well and in order. It also seems he is not interested in anything else that could be going on over on that particular island. Fidel Castro’s jails must be real nice with everyone drinking rum and dancing salsa.

Update: It doesn't look like they are going to pick that fight. Garzon's Boss says no.

Update#2: Now Obama says he's open to the idea of prosecuting - Ouch!

U.S. - Spanish Relations Already Strained

2009-03-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

Nice unilateral decision! I wonder where I've heard that complaint many, many times before?

Carme Chacon, Spain's current defense minister and former housing minister, made a quick phone call to NATO to say she is bailing on Kosovo (leaving) - then announced it publicly right afterward. Apparently this is not the way these things are done in NATO so everyone else is annoyed - even Barack Obama, and he doesn't annoy easily. This move could threaten Zapatero's invitations to the White House - or at least make them "uncomfortable".

Spain is not crazy about Kosovo's indepence goals, since they really are not crazy about some of their own region's independence goals. This seems to be the main reason they want out. However I am unclear on why Spain can not disagree with Kosovo becoming an independent state but still fulfill their obligations to NATO?

I also read in another account that Carme uttered that infamous phrase "Mission Accomplished" to her troops. Others seem to disagree with her since everyone else's troops have to stay. I guess Spain has a different interpretation of the "In Together - Out Together" philosophy that started the mission.

One side note, for some reason it annoys me that newspaper articles like this one (and not only El Pais) never remind the readers that the "ethnic Albanians" in Kosovo are Muslims, and it was the U.S. who intervened on their behalf. It was the U.S. and NATO who forced the Christian Serbians to stop the ethnic cleansing of Muslims (by bombing the crap out of them), and all this without a U.N. security council resolution. I don't know why that annoys me...

Is He Still a Canadian?

2009-03-11T07:01:00.001-07:00

I know it's an old gambit, "Don't say you're an American, just say you're Canadian and avoid the hassle while you are in Europe", etc., But do the Spanish do it to us also? Not wanting to mention if we are Americans?

In this El Pais article they describe Architect Frank Gehry, designer of Bilbao's Guggenheim, as the "Canadian Architect". I guess that is technically correct since he was born in Canada, but he has lived and practiced in Los Angeles since 1947.

You would think that 62 years in the United States would at least get a mention.

Another Torn American

2009-03-06T08:19:00.000-08:00

The first time I had to start thinking about which of two countries to live in was at the end of my “student year abroad” in Madrid. That year was a mind-blower for a twenty year old guy from the suburbs of Los Angeles. I communicated in a different language, made new life-long Spanish friends, explored and enjoyed an exotic city, suffered a lot with homesickness for family and L.A., experienced the frustrations of living in Spain, and as cliched as it sounds, was forever changed.

Then of course there was the Spanish girlfriend. Spain was a different place then, emerging from the Franco era (1983). My girlfriend came from the modest neighborhood of Carabanchel and was an exotic gypsy-looking Madrilena. She thought I was pretty exotic too and she wouldn't have minded taking off to the U.S. with me. But at the end of the year I had to go back to California and continue with three more years of school. So the long-distance relationship began ... and we all know how those end up.

But before the end, we went through countless, "How could this possibly work?" scenarios - or at least I did.

Scenario #1:
"Spanish girl comes to Los Angeles to live. She has to learn to speak English, drive a car, try to go to a university, and be away from everything, and everyone, she knows. American guy has to completely take care of her."

Scenario #2:
"American guy goes to Spain to live. He has to find a job (yeah right! In 1980's Spain?). He has to get a lot better at speaking Spanish, get professional licenses in a foreign country in his chosen profession, and be away from everything, and everyone, he knows. Spanish girl probably will have to completely take care of him."

I decided long ago that living in Spain permanently would not work for me. I could not make a living there, and along with being in poverty, I would never really fit in. And even when I did try to live in Spain for six months at a time or so, I felt like life was passing me by in the states. So I had to go to "Plan B", which was live in Los Angeles and make a living like a regular American, then visit Madrid as much as possible and just get over it already.

It seems to me that to be a proper immigrant you must have no other choice or be absolutely convinced that you love it. You've got to want to stay.... forever.... in your new country, and be happy about it. And if you're involved in a cross-continent relationship, one person has to give up his/her home country - and like it. Otherwise you're just a visitor - like me.

All that preamble just brings me to Bluestreak Blog, an American living in Spain with her Spanish husband. She struggles a lot with these kinds of issues. She also writes about "living in Spain topics" in general and is pretty funny, and cusses a lot too, so that's a plus.

Some good posts:

Nostalgia for Brilliance Realized

Don't Expect a Thematic Post ....

The Whole World

Piecing Together My Habitus

Dude, Do You Not Realize You're all up in Ma Face?

Cosmetological Entropy

Expat Purgatory

They're Not Feeling it

2009-03-03T06:47:00.000-08:00

This doesn't sound good. More than 70% of second generation immigrants to Spain don't feel Spanish and would rather leave to another country - probably the U.S. - according to this El Pais article.

I have noticed how the Spanish word "inmigrante" sometimes seems to have a nasty connotation or feeling attached to it when it is such a normal word. Whenever anyone is talking about the immigrants it usually is in a sentence like, "Be careful down in Lavapies, there are a lot of inmigrantes there." etc.

The problem with Spain is everyone has just looked alike for too damn long. You can immediately tell if someone is "not Spanish". If you are Asian, then you are "un Chino", and it doesn't matter which country you are from.... and you definitely are not Spanish.

I guess it will just take time for them to get used to the idea that being Spanish has nothing to do with how you look. I wonder, can they get used to that idea?

How Long till the Spanish get Pissed?

2009-02-24T07:29:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure I totally understand Spain's position on crime and punishment. I guess they feel that anyone can be rehabilitated. For this reason there is no such thing as life imprisonment. The maximum time anyone can get is something like 12 years, even if you kill 20 or 30 people, rape and kill a child, or get together with your buddies to murder your ex-girlfriend and dump her body in the Guadalquivir.

I know people in Spain have been told for many years that in the U.S. we are a bunch of barbarians for having such a thing as life imprisonment without the possibility of parole - let alone, in some states, the death penalty. But from this news story and others that have come up lately, it's looking like some changes are brewing in Spain. People are getting pissed that scumbags like this get such light sentences.

I Love L.A. (But Penelope Doesn't)

2009-02-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

Penelope says L.A. is obsessed with the film industry and it is not "healthy" for her to stay here. Hey Penelope, maybe you should try hanging around with a few people NOT in the business. I mean every boyfriend since you were very young (I'm pretty sure) was an actor - current super-famous Spanish dude too. This is a pretty big town with an S-load of people not part of the "industry". I'm sure you could find a few non-actors.

Actually, probably not. The bottom line is that like any super famous person, the only true friends she has are the ones who knew her before she became a big star. And logically those people are in Madrid - and maybe in New York now. And dating a "civilian" probably would not work either. Who could put up with that kind of stress but another famous person? But don't blame L.A. for this.

And one more thing. LEARN TO DRIVE! Not knowing how to drive in L.A. is like not being able to walk in Madrid.

Darwin Dissed in his Own Hometown

2009-02-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

Everytime I read the results of another survey taken by impartial persons (yeah right!) showing what a bunch of moronic yahoos Americans are because of their gun ownership, their illiteracy, and the fact that the "typical" American does not know where France is etc., I wonder, "Does anybody ever give these same impartial surveys to Europeans to find out what they (don't) know?"

I'm pretty sure the answer is "not usually". It's much more fun to think Americans are the only stupid ones.

Well, maybe that's changing. El Mundo published this article on the run up to Darwin's 200'th birthday showing that more than 50% of Brits don't accept Darwin's evolutionary theories - and he is their guy! Is intelligent design and "guided evolution" on the move in Europe?

The religion and creationist thing has been a favorite club for superior minded "Americans-are-idiots" types to hit us over the head with for years. Everyone knows no one in Europe could possibly think the same way as those American dolts - so let's not bother asking them.

I'm just saying that if we are idiots then I know that many people all over Europe are just as stupid on a whole range of subjects - if anybody asked them in the same "impartial and honest way" that they ask the Americans. That's right. I'm setting a real low bar for myself, I just want to be as stupid as the next guy!

I wonder what the results would be in Spain?

Bush was the Problem - Right?

2009-02-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

I’m not sure how I feel about this opinion piece in El Pais. On the one hand I think that many Europeans have a natural antipathy toward the U.S. (like the article says) and no matter what the Americans do - they won't like it. Having Bush in there just let all those feelings come rushing to the surface. A perfect poster boy for the evil empire. So it is logical that even with Obama as President many Europeans will try to hang the same "Bush-like" label on him. Hence the "Bushification" of Obama.

On the other hand if they don't "Bushify" Obama and they love what he is doing then they are a bunch of hypocrites. After all, Obama will continue many of the same policies as President Bush. He kept Bush's defense minister, he will increase troops in Afghanistan, he will continue CIA renditions in foreign countries, his support for Israel won't waiver, he is a Christian and will continue with Bush's "faith-based" community support programs, and he is against gay marriage, etc. Sure he is going to close Guantanamo (eventually) just like McCain was going to do, but seeing that Obama really will act like Bush in many ways (i.e., like an American president) isn’t it hypocritical of Europe NOT to treat him the same way, with the same hate and derision? Or was it all bullshit? I guess they only hated Bush for his silly grin.

I think the bottom line is they are pretty confused - Obama was a curve ball they just didn't see coming.

Update: Obama's position on the dismissal of a lawsuit brought by 3 men who say they were kidnapped by the CIA and tortured is "exactly the same" as the Bush white house's position. Obama says the suit should be dismissed because the act of trying it would threaten national security - just like Bush said. Will there be an outcry?

The Children are the Future

2008-12-26T07:19:00.000-08:00

The good news is the Gypsies are no longer the most hated immigrant group in Spain among students aged 13 - 19 years old, according to a new survey by a Complutense University group written about in El Pais, now the Moroccans are the most hated.

The bad news is an average of about 20 percent of these enlightened young people think that pretty much all immigrants should be kicked out of Spain entirely - including the Asians and the Jews, although I think there are only about four Jews left in Spain, but still, they gotta go...

If we're only talking about the Moroccans, 40% of native Spanish students in 2008 think they must be kicked out of Spain. Wow! This is actually an improvement, in 2002 the figure was 48% of students who thought they should be sent packing.

How about the Latinos? They are brothers right? Same language, same religion, should they be allowed to stay? Nope. 25% of students said get rid of them. Nice! And this percentage is increasing.

They even write in the article that the results of the survey were so bad in 2002 and then again in 2004, that they did not dare to make them public. Well, that's one way of believing all is well, just don't talk about it.

I wonder what a year or two of the current bad economy will do to these figures? I'm thinking it could get ugly.

World's Ugliest Christmas Tree

2008-12-24T05:55:00.000-08:00

Would you buy this tree? This is almost criminal. How can you decorate a Christmas tree and make it look this bad?

I saw this tree display in a Madrid home improvement store. Granted, this one is really bad but even the one's I saw - that were much better than this one - just seemed to be missing a certain something. I'm not sure what it is exactly, maybe it's a delicacy, proportions of size of ornaments, tastefulness of lights, etc. I think Spain needs a few more years of the tradition to "get" the Christmas tree decoration gene.

On the other hand, something Madrid has been doing for a very long time (before anybody really had Christmas trees in Spain) is the holiday lights in the city. They do a great job on the lights. Even though they say they have been cutting back this year.

Merry Christmas - no matter what your tree looks like.

El Muelle Lives Again

2008-12-20T12:44:00.000-08:00

Well, not really. But there are at least two guys running around now in Madrid defacing the walls in Muelle's name - I assume as an homage. If you remember, I wrote about El Muelle here a while back. He was a young guy, a part time musician, and one of the first taggers in Madrid starting around 1985 but with a difference - he actually had some talent. All the rest, in my personal opinion, pretty much sucked, as they do now. The original Muelle, Juan Carlos Arguello, died young in 1995.

Here is a very badly done El Muelle imitation I found on Calle Fuencarral:

And a better one on c/ Relatores:

But none compare to the original:

That Didn't Take Long

2008-11-09T08:36:00.000-08:00

... For El Roto to get negative that is.

He is going for it only five days after the election. The cartoon guys sees out of his RIGHT eye - then he sees out of his LEFT eye, get it? Nice change.

Funny thing is .... I think I agree with him. There is a lot of drinking of the Obama kool-aid going on with very extreme expectations for his presidency. But I'm not so sure there will be a huge sea-change in actual policies. Of course there will be the usual Democratic party-line changes, taxes, social programs, environment, and everyone wants to end the war, etc. But on other foreign policy fronts, Obama will just be able to explain in a nicer way why he is going to do what he wants to do anyway. Bush just did what he wanted without bothering to explain to, or consult with, the rest of the world - knowing he's going to do it anyway (whatever "it" may be). So I guess he thought why bother? And his presentation skills were, shall we say, lacking. But you gotta at least act like you are listening ....

Obama does have some good presentation skills. Maybe that is enough of a change?

California Gay Haters?

2008-11-08T06:39:00.000-08:00

I'm sure everyone in Spain has now read that California has "Banned Gay Marriage". Sounds pretty bad huh? Sounds like the backward and provincial Americans really haven't changed much - even with the election of Barack Obama.

Some background for Spain. In California there are ballot measures that can make laws. The people vote on what they want - democracy remember? So, in 2000 there was a ballot initiative which stated that the definition of marriage was the "union of one man and one woman." This measure was passed by the voters to the great chagrin of the pro-gay rights people who proceeded to sue. Then in May of 2008, the California Supreme Court decided to overturn that voter made law. The judges said the definition of marriage is just the union of two people - no matter the sex - and no matter what the voters said.

This upset some Californians who asked themselves, "Didn't we just vote on this? Why are they changing our decision?" The only way to stop the judges from doing this again was to amend the California Constitution to define the word "marriage" again to the "union of one man and one woman."

Now, in California we still have a legal "Domestic Partnership". This provides, I believe, all of the same legal protections of marriage - without calling it "marriage".

So, I think two things upset the voters. The first was they did not like the judges changing the definition of "marriage" after it was voted on - essentially overruling the will of the people. The next is yes, I believe there are many Californians uncomfortable with the whole concept of same-sex "marriage", especially old-world newcomers. Remember, California is full of immigrants, traditional people from Mexico, Asia, well .... everywhere.

If the pro-gay rights people had just concentrated on making sure that "Civil Unions" meant that gay couples have all the same rights as traditional heterosexual married couples, then I don't think they would have had a problem. Then they could fight the "marriage" battle later. Remember, Barack Obama's own position is that he is against "Gay Marriage" but for "Civil Unions."

In Spain the people did not have a chance to vote on this matter. The parliament decided it for them. I wonder if they had voted on it, and they had a choice between "gay marriage" and "civil union" would it have been a similar result to California's? This article from El Pais says no. But people are pretty similar everywhere. Traditional views of very old institutions, like marriage, change slowly.

Back to the Important Stuff - Piso Work Update

2008-11-05T18:37:00.000-08:00

Now that I've handled that little election thing it's time to get back to the more important stuff - What the "F" is going on with the Piso project?

Well, I was in Madrid in June / July and swore I was just going to hang out, relax, visit friends, eat menu del dia, drink wine, read El Pais and get pissed off, etc. and not work on the goddamned piso. But I couldn't take it. I decided to start on the cabinets in the kitchen. So, I made the long train trek to the dreaded IKEA, stressed out there, spent too many Euros, fought with the IKEA girls in the kitchen department, got a million boxes back to the house somehow, and got to work.

I tackled the hardest part of the job, the lower cabinets. This included new oven and cooktop, new sink, new dishwasher (gotta have wasteful American-style conveniences - including my garbage disposal I brought from the States), positioning washing machine and clothes dryer - yes a dryer, and a new very heavy solid oak countertop. I got it all installed but not fully working - then I ran out of time and energy.

Doing "obras" in a piso is a huge pain in the ass. You are working inside the house. If you cut a piece of wood the dust goes everywhere, if you have to get rid of some trash or old cabinets, it's five flights of stairs down to try to find a place to get rid of it. It's constant dust, dirt, and mess. Not to mention just getting the construction materials to the piso... there is no car, no elevator, no parking, en fin, it's rough.

I am not finished of course. I'll be back in early December to continue with the torture - but you know I love it.

Losing Streak Unbroken

2008-11-05T04:49:00.000-08:00

I'm very proud to say that I continue to be in control of the U.S. Presidential elections.

Yes, I did it. I voted for John McCain. Why? Very simple. My state, California, is a blue state. It always sends it's electoral votes to the Democratic candidate. My vote for John McCain could in no way actually help him. Likewise, my vote for Barack Obama would not really help him either since he already won California before the election even began. So I very logically decided that the only value my vote had was in it's "Jinx" value. I couldn't risk it and actually vote for the candidate I wanted. My strategy paid off handsomely and my candidate lost - exactly as planned.

Only In America

Truly, only in America. A self made, not rich, first generation immigrant (on his father's side), and a black American, is the president. Everyone was happy and excited it seems. Even on Fox News Channel, Carl Rove... CARL ROVE - Bush's guy! Was saying what an amazing moment this was, how historic, and how Obama simply kicked McCain's ass and we must support the new president and pray for him. John McCain was extremely gracious in his concession speech offering all his help and support for Obama. And of course, Obama's acceptance speech was good - but speaking seems to be so easy for him...

I definitely was touched again by our concept of the "loyal opposition". Even though the campaign was nasty at times, after it's over everyone says, "Well, he won so that's that. He's the President - and we will support him." It's a nice honeymoon period for at least a short while....

How long will the honeymoon period last in Europe?

It's Done

2008-11-04T11:21:00.001-08:00

There was a lot of people in the middle of the day at my local polling place. Not like a huge line, but more than usual. There also seemed to be more poll worker volunteers. Voters were making sure that the ballot was correctly placed in the holder before inking, asking the volunteers to assist them, people were really into it.

Now we wait and see.

El Roto is Happy - Or is He?

2008-11-04T07:02:00.000-08:00

Big day today. The whole world is watching. El Roto is watching too.

I can't quite figure out if this is a positive cartoon or not. I look at it and I'm not crazy about the cowering black man in the corner with the big nasty white dude in front. I guess the sentiment is positive - that a black man can become president of the United States. But I can't help thinking that it is also one last jab. The Spanish and Europeans love to remember slavery like it was yesterday. Everyone knows that only the Americans ever participated in this horrible pastime.... Right?

When I think about an Obama presidency the last thing that comes to my mind is slavery. Maybe that's because Obama's father came from Kenya in the 1960's - a little late to be a slave. And another reason - I feel like that slavery thing is kind of behind us now. Of course it is our history, it shaped us, we've struggled, it's been very rough at times. But the point is we're moving forward.

So, is El Roto happy or not?

I am in Control of the U.S. Presidential Elections

2008-10-26T07:51:00.000-07:00

I’m a relatively old guy (46 y.o.) and have voted in every presidential election since 1980. Problem is, I have never picked a winner - not once. So, I’m going with the completely logical theory that I personally have the power to decide the outcome of the U.S. Presidential elections. The winner will be whomever I don't pick. Of course, I am not considering the theory that I just sometimes make boneheaded voting choices.

Let’s review my voting record. This by the way, is very personal information. You’re not really supposed to do this, voting is between you and the booth. But I don’t know you people so what the hell…

1980: Carter vs. Reagan - my losing pick? Carter

1984: Reagan vs. Mondale - my losing pick? Mondale

1988: H.W. Bush vs. Dukakis - my losing pick? Dukakis

1992: H.W. Bush vs. Clinton v.s Perot - my losing pick ? Perot (I can’t explain this vote)

1996: Clinton vs. Dole vs. Perot - my losing pick? Perot (Maybe it was Ralph Nader? either way - loser)

2000: G.W. Bush vs. Gore - my losing pick? Gore

2004: G.W. Bush vs. Kerry - my losing pick? Kerry

As you can clearly see, any candidate I pick for president will lose. This obviously is a very powerful position to be in. I must carefully consider my next decision – because I am in control. Should I vote for who I really want to win and risk jinxing it for everyone else? Or should I be smart this time and vote for the guy I want to see lose? I really have a problem here people.

What do you think?

I'm Not Popular

2008-10-23T06:24:00.000-07:00

In Europe there are accepted political views that most people adhere to. People say they would vote Democratic in a U.S. election (if they could), they really don’t like George You-know-who, they think green house gases are bad and are man's fault, etc. They also have a sort of "group-think" opinion on America. You know, the usual... the U.S. is the problem (whichever the ailment), Americans aren't very bright, they're violent, shallow, greedy, etc. They don't want to hear anything positive about the U.S. or it's people because that would not fit their accepted views. This is why it is much more profitable for newspaper articles, magazines, and websites to take an anti-U.S. view. It's what sells.

But what if you express a differing opinion than this norm? It's clear to me that you will be regarded with suspicion at the very least, but more likely with scorn and derision. Needles to say, you won't be very popular among the European masses.

Luckily for me (and my lonely site-meter counter), I’m not trying to be popular. I can toil away in obscurity forever because I’m not trying to make a buck. But what if I were? Would it be wise to express my unpopular opinions on my potentially money-making website?

I have to say that business and "non-accepted" political views are not a good mix in Europe. I can't imagine a business venture-type web site doing well if it expressed unpopular political opinions - or if it had anything positive to say about America or Americans. Of course, it would not be a problem for that same web site if it expressed the usual negative views.

So listen up entrepreneurs in Europe! If you happen to think the U.S. is not the root of all evil, or not the cause of everything bad in the past and present ..... stay popular and keep it under your hat. A differing viewpoint will NOT be tolerated and you will be judged right where it hurts - in the wallet.

Obsessed with Race

2008-10-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

I’ve noticed that many Spanish journalists seem to have a vision of America that they have a hard time letting go of. The vision they are clinging to so tightly is one of a fundamentally racist American society. I guess this view makes them feel comfortable, maybe a little superior, and probably safe in their own prejudices and long held beliefs. They really seem to be obsessed with race. Well, at least race in America.

When I read articles like this one from El Pais, I can’t help thinking that the writer had to go out of his way to find what he was looking for. He quotes Harley Davidson riders in the deep South, Rednecks in a gun store, and mentions the KKK several times like it actually has any relevance anymore. Maybe I’m crazy and I probably have been living in a racially mixed society for too long, but in my American world people are not running around talking about the colors of the candidates. They are talking ideology, experience, our taxes – the usual stuff.

There are also some quotes that are real gems in this article too:

“If God was black and Satan was white, there would be Americans willing to forget heaven and burn in hell at the hand of the white demon.”

And I love this one – the obligatory dig at fatso Americans:

“Susan, forty years old, enemy of diets and gastronomic moderation, sells clothes from the front of her house … etc. etc.”

It seems like the writer of the article really wants Obama to lose. If Obama loses – he will be correct in his beliefs. Americans will be proved racist and it will be clear for all to see. If the unthinkable happens (in his eyes) and Obama should win, then there will have to be an explanation. I wonder what that explanation will be? I’m sure El Pais will let me know.

Of course everyone knows that race does play a part in this election. There obviously are racist idiots in America who will vote against Obama because he is black – just like there are many people who will vote for him just because he is black. But can we get a little credit for how far we have come in the race relation area at least? A black American is the Democratic candidate for president after all. That's pretty good guys.

Well, if El Pais won’t say it I will. No matter what happens in this election - Nice work fat Americans! You have come a long way trying to get along together – now go on that diet.

Keeping it Interesting

2008-10-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

Well, at least the Americans give the rest of the world something to talk about. It might be about complete world financial ruin and how did those Cowboys do it to us? Or maybe it’s where the latest war is going to be, etc. But there is no denying that when we cause stories – they are big ones. The world should thank us. We’re keeping it interesting. Face it, life would be so boring without us.

There’s the presidential race that the whole world wishes they could vote in with a cast of characters right from an American movie. We’ve got the semi-hot vice presidential nominee who it looks like might be an air-head (we’ll find out more tonight). There’s the war hero who has to remind everyone every five minutes of his time spent in a Viet Nam prison. There’s the son of an African immigrant with the pushy wife who was abandoned by his father as a child but may be the next President of the United States. In short, interesting.

What else is fun for you guys to talk about? People can walk around with guns in their pockets in some states - legally. That is always good for a newspaper story at least once every month.

There’s the movie and music business. People in Europe know much more about it than I do, and I’m from L.A. Everyone has an opinion too. They may say that all American movies suck but they still watch them – and talk about them.

We have last season’s characters in the persons of George W. and Dick Cheney. Wow, did they ever entertain the folks for the last eight years! There really is no denying that.

It’s always fun to blame us too. That never gets old (and sometimes we deserve it). Global warming, terrorism, financial ruin, rampant racism, greed. I’ll let you decide which ones we deserve the blame for … (I know you'll say "all of the above"). You guys can discuss it at the bar.

What's coming next? I know the world will be glued to their TV’s, laptops and newspapers waiting to find out. I wish we could sell this stuff and make some money… It might help pull us out of our latest catastrophe.

Some Links to Check Out

2008-09-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

Roberto Says the current Wall Street news is the death of capitalism. There is a lot of shit going down on "C/ Muro, 1". I hope it is not the death of the market system but it sure seems like those greedy idiots need some more rules to keep them in line. This sounds like an issue Obama should jump on and milk.

I remember writing a short while back that I didn't hear the word "crisis" bandied about in the states as much as I did in Spain - or so I thought. I stand corrected. Now it's a crisis. Maybe those soup lines are coming after all.

Pajamas Media has something on Europeans' views of America which contribute to them being disgusted with us - problem is a lot of their facts are wrong. It seems they are as ignorant of us as we are of them... (I have known this for a long time).

Europe is Gonna Hate This Lady

2008-09-09T03:59:00.000-07:00

I'm afraid we have a real race on our hands. Everyone in the Obama camp (and the U.S. media) was feeling pretty cocky right after the Democratic National Convention. It didn't last very long.

McCain really pulled a fast one on us with this conservative lady governor. Everyone's first reaction was, "What an idiot McCain is! Does he think we're stupid"? Then she got up to speak. And the chick can speak.

The media instantly piled on trying to bring up any dirt they could - and there is some dirt - but everything they said only hurt Obama more. Sarah Palin is a tough one to beat up on. The Obama-supporting media actually called her a bad mother because she has a job! Now that's a tough sell - and a very hypocritical position for the Democrats to take. They have to be very careful here or it will continue to jump up and bite them in the ass.

I do know one thing though. Europe is going to hate this lady. She possesses a boatload of the "typical" American stereotypes that Europe hates. Like:

1) Conservative Politically
2) Religious (Christian, of course. The religion they can't stand the most)
3) Goes Hunting!
4) Comes from a small town
5) Only been out of the US one time.
6) Is against abortion
7) Has a bunch of kids

I know she will be dismissed as a conservative religious fanatic by most Europeans. The same is happening in the U.S. media. But, she's different. She's a mother, not rich, not male, not Washington. She may be more religious than you or me, but she is more "real" than all of those other politicians. People tend to identify with that. Can she "Be the leader of the free world" as they say? Is she qualified? Who the hell is!

This is going to be very interesting. The Obama camp is praying (yes, they are praying now) that she will just make a massive mistake. We'll see. If she puts McCain in the white House many people are going to be in total shock - in the U.S. and in Europe. And boy will they be pissed!

Still Too Shallow to Appreciate Woody

2008-09-07T08:51:00.000-07:00

I saw Vicky Cristina Barcelona last night and I have to say I still don’t get Woody. I must be too shallow. I love his early stuff though – when he was funny - movies like Annie Hall, Sleeper, and Love and Death. But now I just get irritated.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is about obviously rich and spoiled broads, who have all the time and money in the world to just hang out and worry about things, complain and whine, cheat on their boyfriends / husbands, and basically be ungrateful for everything they have.

As a guy who knows how much things cost in Spain, and most importantly, how expensive time is, the time to do what you want, time to hang out, time to think instead of working, etc… It really annoys me that everyone in this movie is seemingly filthy rich with lots of time on their hands. They stay in virtual palaces, go to hotels that would easily cost 600 Euros a night, they fly in private planes, go to quaint private Spanish guitar performances, they spend money on the town like drunken sailors and all with no visible means of support.

The same goes for the painter, Javier. His house is amazing, he drives a vintage 1967 Alfa Romeo Duetto in perfect condition (no maintenance there, ha!), flies a plane, and all without ever selling a painting (they all looked pretty bad to me). He’s not exactly a poor, suffering artist….

I know I’m supposed to suspend disbelief but I couldn’t do it. There was nothing real people could relate to in this movie.

In short, everyone is a self-obsessed whiner, especially the Americans. Honestly, they are an embarrassment – and boring to watch. The only character that was interesting, who actually moved around a little and said something different was Penelope. She looks good angry too.

Woody Happily Takes Barcelona's Money - While They Go Broke

2008-08-10T07:39:00.000-07:00

It’s a tough contrast to see Woody next to those two. I considered cutting him out of the picture but news is news. Just hold your hand over Woody’s face so you can enjoy the view.

Allen’s latest movie premiered in L.A. this week. As you remember, Woody got paid from the guys in charge in Barcelona / The Generalitat, to make the movie. You would assume Allen has a special place in his heart for Barcelona or something, but it turns out that Woody would have gone to any ol’ city to film – just as long as they picked up the tab:

Quote Allen, “People from Barcelona called and said if I was interested in making a film there, they would finance it, so I said, ‘sure’,” he admitted at Cannes. “If someone had called me from Rome or Venice or Stockholm or god knows where, I probably would have agreed to it just as readily.”

Nice Woody! You should at least lie a little and say that Barcelona is the greatest place in the world and you would’ve spent even your own money to film there.

What’s funny about this (not funny, ha, ha, but funny ironic) is that on the same day, in the same newspaper (El Pais), the front page headline is the following:

Catalans’ “basic services” threatened by cash shortfall

It seems that the down-turn in the economy could effect education and even healthcare. Of course they are blaming Madrid for taking their money but what about bone-head moves like this one?

I wonder if Woody shares any of the money the movie makes with Barcelona. If he does, I’m sure the “usual” Hollywood accounting practices will be in place, i.e., even if it makes a ton of money (which it won’t) – Barcelona will be told it was all spent in distribution, sorry!

Does Anyone Else Think This is Nuts?

2008-08-06T08:07:00.000-07:00

Well, he only killed twenty five people, it's not like it was a really awful crime. He also was a nice guy in prison, working in the laundry and so on, so that really counts. And he did do 14 months for each of his victims (21 years for 25 murders). So, what more do you want?

Seriously, what the hell is Spain thinking? Is this some kind of joke? Symbolic prison sentences of 3000 years, time off for "good behavior" in murder cases, child rapists let out after a ridiculously short sentence - or doing no time at all! I know we Yanquis are brutal barbarians with the death penalty and all (not in all states), but I'm sorry, this guy should not walk out of prison ever, neither should child killers. Pedophiles can not be "reformed" and guys who kill 25 people revoke their right to live in society with the rest of us, even if they convert into Mother Teresa in jail.

What's He Gonna Say?

2008-07-24T07:27:00.000-07:00

From Bloomberg about Obama's big Berlin Speech:

``We may be in for a rude awakening,'' said Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg, a member of parliament's foreign affairs committee from Merkel's Christian Democratic Union. ``Obama views cooperation as anything but a one-way street.''

Obama ``wants to make the old alliances more meaningful by asking more of the allies,'' said Jan Techau, a transatlantic affairs expert at the Berlin-based German Council on Foreign Relations. ``He will try and softly prepare the Europeans for what's going to happen as soon as he enters the White House, if he does so.''

Obama may demand ``greater burden-sharing'' from European allies in Afghanistan, said Eckart von Klaeden, foreign-affairs spokesman for Merkel's Christian Democrats.

``Obama has made it very clear that he will channel the resources from Iraq into Afghanistan, because Afghanistan in his eyes is the right war to fight,'' said Techau. ``And for that right war to be successful, he will ask for more.''

``I'm somewhat wondering about how realistic our expectations are,'' Stelzenmueller said, adding that she expects ``nothing concrete'' in terms of policy proposals. ``Ultimately, Obama has no choice but to pursue U.S. national interests, even though he displays multilateral instincts.''

Nice Post Over at Hermann's

2008-07-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

Some people are pissed off that Iraq is going well. I know the newspapers really don't like to mention it. Clarsonimus notes how the Germans don't want to talk about it but they will gladly go to Iraq and drill some oil.

Obama the American

2008-07-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

Europe is excited about a possible President Barack Obama. This is something they did not think was possible, after all it has been shoved down their throats for decades what an unfair and racist society America is. Another thing shoved down their throats is that President Bush is the most evil, arrogant, violent, stupid, imperialistic and greedy man in the world.

Enter Obama stage-left politically, or so Europe hopes. Here’s the guy that is going to fix it all. He’s going to pull out of Iraq, he’s going to be Mr. Environmentalist, he's going to be some kind of new American Socialist. (What’s funny about this is that now that Bush is leaving most of Europe has conservative governments). They think he is just going to toe the line on what the world wants.

In Madrid recently, I had a conversation with a Spanish friend who was going on about Obama’s ethnicity and rumored (incorrectly) religious beliefs. He was describing him as black, as maybe Muslim, as a minority, just as “different”. So I told him, “You’re forgetting one thing. Above all that - he’s an American.”

I think Europe could be making the same mistake. If they think there is going to be some huge sea change in American policy due to an Obama presidency – they’re wrong. There will be changes of course. But there is no way he’s going to bail on Iraq immediately, he is already basically saying as much. There is no way he won’t continue in Afghanistan. He is not going to suddenly stop the fight against terrorism. He already voted for Bush’s renewal of the FISA electronic surveillance bill, the same goes for economic policies, etc. Obama has started his inevitable move toward the political center so he can get elected.

So in short, I’m expecting a nice honeymoon period for Barack Obama in Europe right after he’s elected. He will be seen as being able to do no wrong, as somehow just not like those other Presidents. Then there will be the gradual realization, issue by issue, that things really haven’t changed too much – just the packaging has.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Europe is going to miss George W. Bush. Now there was a guy everyone could agree on hating. Judging a book by it’s cover is just so much easier than reading it. George Bush's book cover was clear - Republican, white, rich kid, etc. Obama's cover looks easy to judge also - but is it?

Photo Exclusive! U.S. Illegal Workers Running in Fear

2008-07-10T06:39:00.000-07:00

"Hispanos have become the invisible minority. Fear of the raids and of being deported have created an historic withdrawal .... Latinos have disappeared due to pure fear..." - El Mundo, June 2008

As you can see El Mundo is right on the money. Look at those poor bastards running in fear from the evil American "Domestic Security Squads." Oh the humanity! They have obviously disappeared due to pure fear ....

Well seriously folks, those are illegal immigrant workers in Los Angeles waiting for contractors or homeowners to drive by and give them work for the day, or week, or whatever. The police and the evil domestic security (Homeland Security) don't do jack squat to them. Everyone knows that these guys just want to work for an honest buck.

Is it a problem if every street corner in L.A. fills up with guys standing around looking for work? Of course. So some kind of order (and limits) have to be brought to the immigration system (or lack thereof) but mass deportations will never be a part of any "solution." All those guys probably have family members in L.A. - legal voting family members. McCain and Obama want those votes.

Sunday Spanish Lunch - Before and After

2008-07-04T07:37:00.000-07:00

Not a very "hard hitting" post subject, but isn't that a great looking couple of appetizers? That's a plate of Iberian cheeses and cured meats like Iberian bellota ham of course, and a few others I can't name right now. The salad is cogollos or heart of lettuce with tuna or bonito. Everything looks so organized at the beginning, but then it ends up like this:

Actually, the "after" part is my favorite time since that is when they whip out the booze and the coffees and we sit around wasting time. The booze is an herbal liquor that is supposed to help with digestion. I'm not so sure about that, but I do know it does the trick in the "getting a buzz on" department.

Check Out This El Pais Headline!

2008-06-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm off reading El Mundo because knowledgeable Blog readers say it's a rag (panfleto) I've turned my attention back to my preferred foil, El Pais. So I'm reading along expecting to see the usual bad information about the U.S. in there, and I see this evenly balanced article with a very positive headline, "The US Begins to Win the War." They even have a second descriptive headline that calls the Iraq war, "The Conflict in Iraq." Hey, it's not even a war anymore!

They talk about the improvements, they talk about the decreases in deaths, they talk about increased oil production, they talk about how in the U.S. we hear less about the war (like Spain since the news is better reporters don't want to talk about it). They also (very reasonably) say that it ain't won yet, shit could still go down.

Good article. The only thing I was not crazy about was their description of "Moveon.org". This organization was created when President Clinton was being hunted down for getting a, well, you know. I really liked them then. Now they have turned into something else... El Pais calls them, " The most powerful group for the support of the Democrats." Well maybe. Except I think they would elect Hugo Chavez if they could.

I tell you truthfully, the article did not have any of the usual shenanigans in it. Nicely done! And I have definitely never seen an article this positive - even in Yanquilandia.

Oh, and at least compared to this article, El Mundo does seem like a panfleto.

Immigration Hypocrisy

2008-06-23T01:07:00.000-07:00

Reading the Spanish Press can really make a guy irritable. After seeing these kinds of articles for at least 25 years, I thought the press in Spain would ease up on trying to show the Yanquis in the worst possible light – at least in areas where Spain is facing exactly the same problems as we are, and when Spain and Europe are acting more harshly than we ever have.

An article in El Mundo with the ominous title of, “From ‘Yes We Can’ To The Fear of The Round-ups” is filled with desprecia for evil racist Americans who hate Hispanics, are hunting them in the streets, building fences, and trying to require employers to actually hire legal workers (shocker!), etc.

Taking a page from the playbook of John at Iberian Notes, here are some maddening quotes from the article - with my witty commentary:

"It was an historic harvest in 2006, millions of Hispanos coming out of the shadows to take Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas, etc. to the cry of “Yes we can!” Obama took this slogan as his own two years later….."

Hispanos coming out of the shadows? They own Los Angeles! They came out to demonstrate with absolutely no fear of being “rounded up”. In fact, in Los Angeles there is a specific law that the police cannot even ask if you are legal or not, let alone arrest you for being undocumented. And I thought Obama’s slogan was something about change?

"Hispanos have become the invisible minority. Fear of the roundups and of being deported have created a historic withdrawal .... Latinos have disappeared due to pure fear..."

Give me a freaking break! Has this guy ever even stepped foot in the US? If they dropped you in most parts of LA you would think it was Mexico. Everybody is Latino and everything is in Spanish. I’ll tell you where they better have some fear. In Europe they can now throw you in jail for 18 months if you are undocumented. In Italy it’s going to be a crime to not have papers. In France they are bragging about how many they are tossing out of the country.

"There are more than 12 million illegal aliens in the US. Attempts to regulate the situation or to create a legal way out for at least some of them have been a failure in the midst of a climate of complete Hispanophobia created by politicians like ex Republican presidential candidate Tony Tancredo and the ultra right wing Pat Buchanan..”

What a complete exaggeration – Hispanophobia my ass! What the F? Tony who? I swear I don't even know who this guy is. And who cares what Pat Buchanan says – no one! He doesn't even hold an office now. Does anyone remember that Ronald Reagan (an evil Republican) gave amnesty to hundreds of thousands of undocumented workers – my friend Agapito amongst them – like 25 years ago? Yeah, we hate Mexicans! Here in Spain, they love everyone – except the poor bastards in the cayucos.

"Both Obama and McCain are in favor of construction of a third portion of wall between the US and Mexico … both consider this a priority of “national security."

No kidding! How horrible of them! Of course there are no walls between Spain and North Africa. The fact is this is only a tiny length of fence they are talking about. Do you know how hard it would be to actually build any worthwhile fence between the US and Mexico? There is only a decent fence in the areas where the most people cross over.

"The Department of Domestic Security has launched an offensive that resonates like a military operation, "Operation Streamline", it's mission to detain, imprison, and deport immigrants without papers..."

If they really did this on a large scale there would be some major complaining going on.. They did it in one town, at one factory.. And even if there are more of these, what the hell else are we supposed to do?

"In New York, the Jesuit Joel Magallan, working with the “Asociacion Tepeyec”, has decided to act first and start a campaign to educate Hispanic children and adolescents. “2009 is going to be the year of immigration reform and we have to be ready. We have to register all young Hispanics so they can vote and fight for their rights.”

Wait a minute. I thought they were hiding in the shadows? They can vote? Of course El Mundo doesn’t remind their readers that anyone born in the US is automatically a citizen. Is this how it is in Spain? I didn't think so.

Everybody wants a rational solution to this problem and that will never mean kicking out everyone who is in the US illegally. Evil Republicans and Democrats alike want some kind of amnesty. Americans know better than anyone that our country was created and built by immigrants - but it's kind of hard to take in all of Mexico and South America. Maybe Spain has some advice for us. On second thought that's alright, but how about a little understanding at least?

A Real Conversation

2008-06-19T15:13:00.000-07:00

So I was out doing errands today and in so doing I had to go into an official City of Madrid building. Of course they have security and a metal detector, and as I passed through the metal detector - it beeped.

“Do you have anything metalico?” Asked the guard.

“I have llaves.” I replied.

While I removed my keys and went through the archway a second time a conversation was struck up between us based upon my accent and strange looks.

Noting my white-boy face the guard joked, “Where are you from? Almeria?

People from Almeria are more on the Moreno side.

Flattered that he didn’t say North Dakota, and not quite realizing the joke, I responded, “No California.”

This of course is an invitation to immediately launch into the usual “Bush comments”. The guard was enjoying himself now.

“Bush, he’s your friend huh? You know he’s crazy.”

Ignoring the “crazy” part I said, “Obama’s my friend now, haven’t you heard of him?” Trying to let him know that the amount of “hate Bush days”, are numbered. This kind of stuff used to bother me but now I’m over it. More good-natured banter ensued while I gathered my belongings out of the machine.

“Am I in the right place to pay the IBI (a kind of tax)?” I asked.

He assured me that I was, but he wasn’t done with me yet. He had a new line of questioning to pursue.

“Hey,” he said. “My friend in Long Island says that there are two kinds of Social Security taxes in America, one for the rich people and another for the poor people."

“Oh yeah”, I replied, “Is this friend of yours American or Spanish?”

“Neither, he’s South American" ( I can’t remember the country).

“Well,” I broke the bad news, “You are not getting good information. There is only one Social Security tax, it’s just that the rich people are probably not going to depend on the benefits.”

Undaunted he continued, “ You know, whenever I tell my friend in Long Island that I don’t really like Americans (me caen mal), he gets real mad at me. He says that everyone is very nice to him over there."

Amazed that he would say this to my face, for once I didn’t completely stand there at a loss for words.

“Hey, what’s your name?” I asked.

“Jose”

“Encantado Jose, soy Carlos. Hey Jose, How many Americans do you know?"

“ I only know the ones on TV.”

That’s what the man said, gentle readers. I shit you not.

The Obligatory "Where to Eat in Madrid" Post

2008-06-18T00:11:00.000-07:00

Every Madrid-centric website has one of these kinds of posts - so now it’s my turn.

When I am in Madrid I only want Spanish food. I don’t want to try some weird pizza with tuna or anchovies on it. Likewise, I would never go to a Chinese restaurant unless Spanish friends insist. I know that the food is terrible, drowned in starchy sauce, and the Chinese people are laughing at what they are giving us white ghosts. Besides, Los Angeles (Monterey Park) has some great Chinese food - maybe even better than Hong Kong.

Continuing with the rant. I also don’t want other kinds of Italian. Why waste my time on pasta that I could get anywhere? And there is no way I’m trying Mexican food again. Maybe someday Madrid will catch up with Los Angeles in the Mexican food department, but I haven’t seen it yet. I also don’t really understand – and therefore don’t appreciate - French food, so that’s out. It’s possible that Sushi might be OK because the Spanish do know fresh fish, but I can’t chance it unless I see real Japanese people behind the bar (and eating in there too). The Indian food (called Hindu here) might be OK except that it’s usually made by Pakistanis. I don’t know anything about Pakistani food or if it is even different than Indian – but I should know this. The Arabic food has got to be good. Must get up the nerve to go into some of those places with the water pipes.

Ok, so I think it’s pretty clear that it’s going to be Spanish. One more thing, I’m not a fan of fancy and expensive restaurants. I may try to fly business class whenever I can, but I am just not impressed with expensive places when you can get great eats in Madrid at normal, not big money, restaurants. The truth is I’m not a gourmet kind of a guy (which may mean everyone should stop reading this post right now).

If you are still there, here are my picks for regular, good Spanish food, in restaurants filled with Spanish people:

La Sanabresa – c/ Amor de Dios, 12

Mano a Mano – c/ Lavapies, 16

Finca de Susana – c/ Arlaban, 4 (This one looks fancy but the prices are great. For some reason the waiters are all Filipinos and very surly.)

La Puebla – c/ Ventura de la Vega, 12

The Gods of Business Class

2008-06-14T15:17:00.000-07:00

As anyone who has ever flown in the good seats can attest, once you fly Business Class to Europe, it is VERY difficult to go back to the economy section. There is nothing like actually sleeping to Europe.

I have flown to Madrid really a lot of times over the years. And, like most normal turistas, I always flew economy. But then I got a little older, a little wiser, more spoiled, and finally joined the frequent flyer club. I also signed up all my credit cards, business expenses and personal, in the frequent flyer program so every dollar I spend goes toward miles - because it is now my goal to only fly Business Class to Europe. This is not an easy goal. It takes planning, perseverance, money, and luck. I have never actually paid a full fare to fly business class. I always have been able to use points, maybe points and some money, maybe find a deal, and the best of all worlds – just getting lucky.

This brings me to this trip. I was screwed. I did not have enough points and I could not use some points and some money because they did not have any available “points seats”. I was resigned to fly with the civilians and suffer to Madrid.

As a last ditch effort I called British Airways the day before my flight and asked the dude if there was any chance I could get in with the rich people by using points, money, flattery, whatever. I said that this call is just a shot in the dark, etc. He said that the only thing I could do is buy a seat for $14,000! I joked with him and said, “Is that all! No problem!” Then I said, “Well maybe next time. I tried, no big deal.” I then thanked the British Airways man and hung up.

As a last, last ditch effort, I also asked at the airport if there was any possibility of upgrading and basically got the same reply – pay an S-load of money and you can. Oh well, it looks like the cattle car for me.

Then an amazing thing happened. As I gave the lady my boarding pass for her to scan at the gate there was a curious beep and she said, “ Mr. Carl, we have a seat change for you. Please step inside the gate for a moment.” Holy Shit! The Gods of Business Class smiled upon me and upgraded my seat for NADA!

Now I’m trying to figure out the mysterious ways of the Gods. Why did that happen? I’m thinking it was because I was a human being to the British Airways man on the phone. I’m sure he talks to a bunch of Dicks all day long giving him a hard time about their stupid seats. I was polite, joked with him, told him that it was no big deal, etc. What I didn't realize until now is he probably has it in his power to put a little tick in my computer record that says, “Give this guy a seat if one is open”, etc. In short, he is an angel of the Gods of Business Class.

Moral of the story: Always treat people well, they may be messengers to the Gods.

Bullfighting – If You’re Not Spanish, You Can’t Understand

2008-05-28T07:27:00.000-07:00

There’s a small brouhaha going on over at Notes From Spain. Ben can always get the natives riled up over a nice discussion about the evils of bullfighting - and related pastimes. There were many comments from non-Spanish newcomers denouncing the practice, and a mix from Spanish people alternately denouncing and defending la corrida de toros. As usual, the Spaniards doing the defending were getting pretty offended and I think this time I am on their side.

I was wondering if it is even possible for non-Spanish people to really understand the fiesta nacional. I mean, we probably just don’t get it and never will get it and should just stay out of it. I for one like that Spain has the bullfight. It sounds terrible, but I am willing to sacrifice a few bulls to keep Spain “Spain”. We would not be fascinated with the place if it were not for all this interesting stuff going on. I have only been to two bullfights in my life and they were great, exotic and Spanish. However, I did not catch the bug, but I don’t want them to end either. I like the idea of the bullfight. Are they brutal? Hell yes! That’s life! I think the Spanish people should not try to “defend” bullfights anymore. They should just say, “ Yeahh, they’re nasty, and beautiful, a lot of fun, all ours, and what a show!”

Now here’s where I’m going to lose you if I have not lost you already, I draw a very tenuous parallel between a common Yanqui custom that I do not believe the world can ever fully understand – gun ownership. Yeah, some Americans like guns, they like to hunt, they use them as tools, they like to hone their skills, they think of them as fine machinery, they can be a hobby and a pastime, they are a part of some people’s lives, they are a responsibility. Most of the world dismisses the gun-toting Yanquis as barbarians, or red-necked, violent simpletons (and some are I’m sure). And of course many Americans also think this same way. Sound familiar? There are more and more Spanish people who do not want the Bullfight to continue.

So, just as I wish the rest of the world would at least consider the unique cultural and historic aspects of the gun in America and not judge too harshly, I’ve decided that we non-Spanish types need to keep our noses out of the fiesta nacional and let the Spanish decide when it dies. Likewise, the Americans will decide when to ban the guns. Both are coming of course.

Update: Good Bullfight Article.

Obama's Dirty Secret

2008-05-23T22:34:00.001-07:00

Spain dwellers will probably be surprised to hear that a very common Spanish pastime that Barack Obama indulges in is something that he is desperately trying to conceal from the American people. Smoking.

This is a big deal over in Yanquilandia because many people see smoking as a very nasty habit only partaken in by weak-willed individuals. Presidents don’t smoke, at least not modern day Democratic presidents. Smoking is for shady, back-room dealing Republicans.

Obama says he is trying to quit, or has quit, or something. The Barack-obsessed American media sure isn’t going to out him though. They consistently only have great things to say about ol’ Barack. I bet if Hillary even looked at a cigarette it would be all over the papers about what white trash she is.

One good thing they say the cigarettes do for Obama is they make his voice all maple syrupy and smooth, like some kind of jazz radio disk-jockey. People really do love his voice. If he quits smoking he may lose that rich, resonant, authoritative sound that some people say intones “president.”

Maybe Hillary should pick up a pack of Ducados. Her voice could use some toning down. People may be voting solely on which voice they will be subjected to for the next 8 years.

The Bota - Is there Anything More Spanish?

2008-05-19T20:17:00.001-07:00

Well maybe there is, but the Spanish wine skin, or Bota, has got to be one of the most Spanish icons out there. And I'm not talking about the crappy plastic-lined imitations. No, it has to be the real deal, hand made, with tar inside, or pez.

I bought these two at a Boteria in Madrid, kind of a while ago. The workshop was over in the South of Latina area - one of those streets above Puerta de Toldeo. Like most places in Madrid, I knew more or less where it was but not the exact street or address. I tried to find it once again after many years but had no luck.

So, the other day I was looking at my botas, and I did what everyone does now if they are trying to find something, I Googled "boteria" and came up with several things. One of which was a post that I missed from Sal's Virtual Tapas Bar. It seems that Sal is an aficionado of the bota too and he did a great job of laying out the do's and dont's of bota use and maintenance.

Proper Bota Boozing Technique:

Sal also says that as of 2004 the boteria is called:

Botería Julio Rodriguez
Calle Aguila, 12
28005 Madrid
Spain
Tel: +34-91-365-6629

I have to check that out when I am in Madrid next - hopefully this June.

I also came up with this great link to a video - complete with flamenco guitar accompaniment - of the bota fabrication process.

I do have to say that I am a bota snob though because mine not only are authentic hand made piel with tar inside, but they also have tapones made of bull horn (asta de toro), not plastic. Jealous?

Interesting Language Story

2008-05-17T10:44:00.001-07:00

The Portuguese have decided to go Brazilian - at least in how they speak and write. They are going to adopt Brazilian Portuguese as their official language.

They've done the math, and came to the conclusion that Portuguese from Portugal with it's 10 million speakers, just can't win in the face of Brazilian Portuguese and their 190 million speakers. So, they are going to change about 2,000 words from "Portugal Portuguese" to "Brazilian Portuguese".

Can you imagine a similar thing happening in Spain? There is no way they would adopt "South American Spanish", not that I'm saying they should. Of course there would be the problem of which brand of South American Spanish to adopt?

How about the Brits? That one is a little more clear cut. We all know they should give up on the "organise" and spell it "organize" etc., and just speak like the Yanks already (wink).

Slacking Off

2008-05-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

Well, not really. One thing about vacations - it takes too damn much work to prepare for them, go on them, then recover from them. It's almost not worth it.

My real life has been seriously getting in the way of my pathetic web life. I planned a long weekend in Maui but then had to work my ass off at the day job to be able to leave town, then I get back and have to work my ass off because I was gone. And this is just for a lousy self-made "puente" of four days!

Anyway, That's Maui up there, it was nice, etc.

Freedom From Religion

2008-05-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

"Freedom of Religion" is on some people's minds these days in Spain, but I think what Spain needs is a little freedom from religion.

This article from El Pais explains that Muslims in Spain want their piece of the subsidy pie - right now mostly reserved for Catholics. They want the State to pay for religious instruction in Islam (which in fact is what the current law says Spain will do). This is in the name of freedom of religion. So, who's next? the Buddhists, the Hindus, the Scientologists? Of course the answer is there should be no public money for ANY religious instruction.

I feel compelled to mention again that in Yanquilandia, where we are all supposedly a bunch of religious fanatics, there has been no public money for teaching religion for, let's see .... never! And yet, freedom of religion is alive and well.

The More Things Change ....

2008-04-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

You know the rest…. All right, it’s, “The More They Stay the Same,” especially in politics. That is a genuine poster from the 1982 Spanish general election when Felipe Gonzalez began his long fourteen-year tour of duty. I was a student wandering the streets, usually after a long night of learning a lot of new information in Spanish bars and pubs. Around 4 AM or so, they would start plastering up the political posters all over the city. I would ask the poster hangers for one of whatever they were plastering that morning. Then, I proceeded to hold on to the damn things for about 26 years. Crazy huh?

I framed one of the coolest PSOE political posters and put it in my Piso - so I don’t have a scan of it now. It is one of the “Juventudes Socialistas”. It's very colorful, and “Movida” looking, with a whole group of very happy and youthful people holding up sparklers. I’ll scan it one day. Update: I found it online. They are selling it for 50 Euros at Todocoleccion.net:

As you can see Felipe Gonzalez’s slogan was “Change”. Hmm, I wonder where I’ve heard that one before? Barack Obama ripped Felipe off!

For you history buffs, here is the predecessor to the Partido Popular. The party head was Manuel Fraga, a former Franco minister. He's the one that made the slogan "Spain is different" popular as minister of tourism. Hey Pedro Schwartz! You don't run into that name too often in Spain.

Check out this guy. Talk about a major-league Facha. It says, "Spain United and in Order." I bet! I actually love this one - it is so military looking although this guy, Blas Piñar, was no military man. He was a notary (kind of like a lawyer/judge). Needless to say this party, Fuerza Nueva, did not have major success at the polls and was soon disbanded. It continued on only as a publishing house for very right-wing writings. I considered framing this one too and putting it up in my house but had second thoughts. Guests may not understand that it is interesting to me only because it is so outrageous. I have enough problems being an American in Madrid without putting this guy on my wall. Besides, this gentleman is not that pleasant to look at.

I saw that Tom over at Simbolos y Senyals likes this kind of stuff, so I thought I would post them. He is welcome to them if he is interested.

Dateline Vegas, Baby

2008-04-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

Las Vegas is a trip. You have to check it out at least once if you are ever over on the West coast of the U.S. It’s a Disneyland for adults. I am not a gambling fan but the pure spectacle of the place is fascinating. True, more than a few days in Vegas may drive you nuts.

For the uninitiated, each hotel has a theme that carries through all aspects of design, such as a Venetian theme, Paris theme, New York theme, Pirate theme, etc. That's supposed to be St. Marks Square in Venice up there.

And the place looks like China in terms of how much construction is going on. How the hell are they going to fill up all those buildings?

Lots of Europeans running around there too. All kinds of languages are heard. It’s pretty expensive but if you are spending Euros, you’re in luck.

You don’t have to gamble. There are all manners of ways they get your money. You can hang out at the pool and drink, go out to nightclubs and drink, go to very good restaurants and drink, shop and drink, go to Broadway quality shows and drink, and of course gamble and drink. I think you can see a common thread here.

Spain Machista? – Hell Yes!

2008-04-16T22:30:00.000-07:00

One thing that has always impressed me about Spain is how you can see attractive women doing jobs that they would rarely be doing in the U.S. I have turned my head many a time to check out female workers in jobs that I just wouldn’t expect them to be doing, like security guards, letter carriers, cops, and even street sweepers, etc. Now this could be because jobs are scarce so woman will take what they can get, or it could be because there are just more good looking woman in Spain. I’m not sure. But does it prove that Spain is not Machista?

Let's take a look at Zapatero’s new cabinet. But first, let me show you what we are used to in the U.S. in terms of females working for the president - just to put this in context:

That's Janet Reno and Medeline Albright. Competent, smart ladies I’m sure, but not very easy on the eyes. I think you would agree.

Now compare to some of Zapatero’s picks:

Ok, maybe they are not ready for the Paris runway but I think the improvement is obvious. Check out this one. Her name is Bibiana. I guess not in Spain, but around these parts (LA) "Bibiana" is a porn-star name:

These are not bad-looking broads. They are feminine, know how to dress, and are kind of sexy, to tell you the truth. Of course there are some older gals on the cabinet also (conveniently not shown). But even some of those woman, although past their expiration date, used to be not bad - you can tell. I can’t see this level of looks on a US cabinet any time soon.

So is Spain Machista? Well, are they trying to fill a quota of women? I wouldn't like the sound of that. Also, are these gals good at their jobs? I hope looks are not playing a part in who gets hired. If so, Spain is just about as Machista as this post.

Things That Piss Me Off About Madrid

2008-04-12T14:48:00.000-07:00

Well, not really. Actually, these are things that Piss Roberto off about Madrid. He’s over at Diarios de Tetuan, a Blog where you can actually learn something. I think he got up on the wrong side of the bed one day and decided to vent a little about Madrid.

Warning: This is not how I feel about Madrid. I love it. I’m not sure what his problem is …. ? So all nasty comments please direct them to Roberto, a real live Spanish person, at his original post here. All nice comments can be left below for me.

Apologies to Roberto for my translation, I have done very little translating in my life so I just do it in my own writing voice.

Here are the things that Piss Roberto off about Madrid:

1) Either there are too many people in Madrid or the city is too small. I think the city’s too small. Most other European cities with the population of Madrid are at least double or triple Madrid’s geographic size. The only thing I know is that there are definitely way too many of us.

2) Madrid has really crappy public services. I’m talking about the health department, the courts, the school system, local government, even the county and national services. All of them are overwhelmed. There are ridiculous rules meant only to make you lose half the day trying to do a simple task. The so-called ”public servants” treat you like shit because they are fed up and angry at life. And the worst part is the people don’t even complain, they don’t even realize that they are being treated like crap – and get to pay for the privilege through taxes. They have never known it any other way.

3) The people are loud and like cattle. Everyone goes to the same place at the same time. It’s amazing that in a city of almost 6 million people there is so little diversity.

4) Everyone is rude, aggressive, ignorant and selfish. Even those of us born outside of Madrid don’t take long to learn new bad habits from the locals.

5) There is a lot of racism here. Surprisingly or not (I’m still not sure) the newcomers are at least as racist, or more racist, than the Spaniards. A lot of the locals consider the newcomers as a threat so they make things difficult for them – just because. A lot of the recent arrivals feel transient and don’t even try to integrate themselves into Spanish society because it doesn’t seem worth it to them, or even possible. This is not good.

6) The food in Madrid is terrible and expensive. The drinks are just as bad and more expensive. Housing sucks and it's way too expensive. The quality of life in Madrid is lousy and costs too much.

7) Madrid is dirty and noisy. The dogs shit wherever they damn well please and dog owners don’t care either. Cars speed by at 80 KPH burning rubber at one in the morning right through quiet residential neighborhoods.

8) Kids think that splashing nasty graffiti all over the place is art.

9) People mix less and less. Social groups are more and more separate. Ghettos are starting to spring up separated by nationalities, or by level of income. People are marking their territory like dogs. This is a recipe for disaster. Just give it time.

10) Traffic here is crazy and the drivers are psychopaths. This is not a pedestrian friendly city. The car is king, cross-walks are rare. The sidewalks and parking lots are merely improvised. I sincerely hope that some future Mayor has the balls enough to charge 5 or 6 Euros for people to enter downtown in a car. I shouldn’t have to put up with some dude from Las Rozas or Getafe who comes in every morning with his SUV to MY city where I pay taxes so I can then breathe HIS exhaust fumes and deal with HIS honking. He should pay to come, or take the train, or buy a goddamn smaller house in Madrid! You can’t have it all in life.

11) Downtown Madrid is turning into some kind of theme park for tourists. It’s filled with dive-bars, pickpockets, hookers, and small-time drug traffickers.

12) There is no longer a sense of community in Madrid. Everyone does his or her own thing. We think that if we vote every four years – that’s enough. And since the politicians feel no pressure from us they do whatever they want. This is why we have a far-right PP and a PSOE that acts like some comedy routine from Pajares and Esteso. We get just what we deserve.

They say “After Madrid there is only Heaven.” Let me tell you, after living here – we’ve earned Heaven!

Wow! Roberto is pissed off! I think he needs a weekend away in the Sierra. He assures everyone that he is feeling better now though.

Just remember folks, I love Madrid and there is no way I agree with any of these complaints. That would be wrong. Especially for a foreigner like me to stick my nose where it doesn't belong.

La Inmobiliaria Bubble Revisited

2008-04-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

About a year ago I wrote about the coming so-called Real Estate Burbuja in Spain. What have I learned since then? Did any of what I said hold up? Well, the main point of my post then was … it’s always something you didn’t expect – that’s what jumps up and bites you in the ass!

The real estate market is cyclical. People get greedy and think it’s never going to end, so they jump in expecting to make easy money. This always happens. Warren Buffet says something like, “Be cautious when everyone else is greedy, and be greedy when everyone else is cautious.” This works for real estate as well as for stocks. I knew prices were going to fall, but I thought (and still think) that if you buy real estate correctly, and can afford it, and can hold on to it - it will continue to rise in the long run, and out grow any short-term losses.

But I will tell you what I did not expect. And honestly, I still really can’t quite wrap my mind around it. It’s this “sub-prime” business. I thought bankers were not complete morons, and maybe they are not. I would say, however, that whoever gets stuck with the bill for the mortgages people can’t pay - might be the morons. I’m just afraid it will be the taxpayers – in the US and Spain.

So what happened (as far as I can tell)? I think two main scenarios occurred to create the sub-prime problems in the U.S. (By the way, “sub-prime” just means lending money to people who really couldn’t afford it in the first place).

1) Greedy loan sellers lent other people’s money to homebuyers just to get the commissions. They came up with shaky, creative ways to sell people loans – loans the people could not really afford. They got their commissions and split. Still not sure why the people with the money would give it to these hucksters to loan out in the first place.

2) Greedy banks or loan sellers gave out a bunch of bad loans then sold them in a bundle, to other investment banks (like Bear Stearns). Bear Stearns thought the loans were OK and that they would be getting a bunch of interest off of them. All the loans were crap though.

Blame the Americans

There’s a lot of talk in the Spanish press about this and how all Spain’s problems can be blamed on our situation. It seems to me that banks and people are pretty much the same all over. Our mistakes will be their mistakes. In Spain, they have sub-prime also. They just don’t call it that. Spain’s “sub-prime” were the very low interest, variable-rate loans commonly available during the boom. Buyers qualified for these low introductory rates and now can’t afford the payments after the Euribor rose – so they don’t pay. Especially since their piso is not worth so much anymore. That’s sub-prime.

Remember that variable-rate interest loans are the majority in Spain. In the U.S., they are not. I have not figured out why fixed-rate interest loans are not commonly available in Spain, other than the banks can screw you better with variable -rate loans.

I don’t pretend to fully understand the whole situation. And I’m sure the people writing about it in the press don’t understand it either. They just scream and yell. I do know that if you stick to the fundamentals and have some common sense – you will survive the horrible “Bubble”.

Coming next, Rules to Survive the Bubble.

Announcing Your Politics

2008-04-03T06:19:00.000-07:00

Madrid is a city where life happens publicly and very visibly to all because you are always en la calle. People check you out and decide what your deal is immediately. Are you a student, a foreigner, what kind of foreigner?, a business type, pijo (yuppie), nice old lady, etc..

It is difficult to hide who and what you are, or at least it’s hard to prevent people from judging you immediately from the available information. Take one innocent pastime – reading your newspaper with a café con leche in a bar. Sounds simple enough. However, which newspaper are you reading?

Newspapers in Spain have clear political leanings. You know what you are getting when you buy a particular newspaper, Left or Right. You basically know what that newspaper’s take is going to be on the major issues, and whom they don’t like. In the U.S., newspapers are supposed to be objective and not take a political side (except in the editorial pages). How successful they are at this is another story.

Back to Spain. I don’t know about you, but when I buy a newspaper in Madrid there seems to be some kind of invisible force willing me to conform to the socially acceptable position in Madrid. And that means buying the left-leaning El Pais. Maybe it's my imagination, but I am embarrassed to buy, and to show publicly, a conservative leaning newspaper like ABC. Am I nuts? It seems like I would be announcing to the world what a horrible Fascist I am.... The chicks would not dig it.

My solution? I’ve decided to keep them guessing. Now I always buy both the Left-leaning El Pais, and the Right-leaning ABC. This way I hope to end up right in the middle where I belong. And people can just guess what my politics are – like it’s supposed to be.

Mari's Law

2008-04-01T03:30:00.001-07:00

Another U.S. import coming to Spain. Too bad that it is necessary. This article in El Pais talks about the hand-wringing that will go on over the perceived "Big-Brother" issues of registering sex offenders. I find it interesting (yes, again) that El Pais does not mention the U.S. and our system, only that "some European countries" also register sex offenders. I guess they don't like to admit that yet again, what happens in the U.S., happens in Spain. And that with all their talk of how the U.S. takes away freedoms and has a police state, Spain will have to do exactly the same thing because all societies have nasty perverts.

The Death of Mari Luz sounds pretty damned familiar. For us it was Megan Kanka raped and killed in 1994. The law requiring sex offenders to be monitored and kept an eye on is called Megan's Law. Now there is an internet data base of every person ever convicted of a sex offense showing where they live and what they look like. Check out this link and follow the instructions to get to the map page. Put in "91367" in the zip code (postal code) box and click "view map". This is a run-of-the-mill L.A. neighborhood. There are a lot of blue dots out there - click on them. It is pretty scary if you put in your zip code too.

This system does cause some unintended consequences of course. Once people find out these guys live near them they don't want them there, they don't want them anywhere. Many of these people have no place to go because of this. Well, I guess they made some choices in life that brought this upon themselves.

Critics here say this is double punishment. This same argument will be made in Spain of course. But in the end some kind of equivalent system is surely going to come out in Spain. I know Spain thinks we are too harsh on criminals. But I'm pretty sure people in Spain get pissed off about rape and murder just like we do.

Los Caprichos de El Roto

2008-03-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

Now THAT is frightening! If this face doesn't scare the crap out of you - then you must love horror movies. Look at those eyes! Holy shit!

Is it some kind of demented nightmare? Is it a courtroom sketch of some vile serial killer?

No it's just a political cartoon by El Roto from the editorial page of El Pais:

I finally figured out the drawing style of El Roto. I'm also about to pay my buddy from El Pais a huge compliment. The people he draws remind me of what Francisco de Goya was doing from Los Caprichos. I think that's it. Check out a few of these scary drawings from the famous painter, and now that I think about it, really a political cartoonist and "life commentator", from around 1796:

Alright, maybe Goya's were a little more scary.

Ode to the Peseta

2008-03-24T05:26:00.000-07:00

How I miss the Peseta! Look at that up there. That was real money! 5,000 peseta notes, 10,000 Peseta notes, even the ever useful (and very valuable for daily use) Mil Pesetas lovely green bill. Of course, as Americanos the Euro is hurting us even more than the standard-issue Spaniard. But I bet you miss it too.

That picture was the most Pesetas I ever saw together at one time - 2 million Pesetas! They were mine for about 3o seconds, then I handed them over to the sellers of my piso. It was the infamous "dinero negro" that I had to fork over on top of the "official" selling price. This cash went under their mattress I presume. Sounds very hush, hush and clandestine doesn't it? Well, my loan officer from BBVA was with me all the time and it seemed pretty normal to her.

Back to the Peseta. Well, the Peseta was very Spanish and unique. There were pictures of the King and other Spanish Big-shots all over the place, the bills were colorful and different sizes, the coins sometimes had holes in them, there were all kinds of cool slang words to use, like "Pelas", "Pasta", "Cuartos", "Duros". You had to calculate prices of everything in Pesetas. You felt like you were in Spain when you got your hands on some Pesetas. But best of all - you could buy a lot of crap with that damn Peseta.

Well, things change and now it's your turn Spain to come to the U.S. and buy a lot of cheap stuff. The Euro is kicking ass and the Dollar is in the crapper. So come on over - everything is on sale! But remember, just like the one-time high Dollar all things must pass, so the Euro has gotta come down too ... sometime.

By the way, that two million Pesetas? I wasn't a millionaire. In 2001 dollars, that was about $11,000.

Not American - "Jewish-Canadian"

2008-03-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

If this company is successful in Spain El Pais is not going to like it very much - unless they can spin it their way. Could it be because their name is "American Apparel?" The article (click the picture to read) does it's best to describe everything that is not American (in their opinion) about American Apparel - the company is based, and manufactures in, Los Angeles.

I had to read in El Pais that the CEO of this company is Canadian, and not only that, Jewish too. This would never come up in an American article. The CEO, Dov Charney holds a US green card, which means he can pretty much do whatever he wants in the US but vote.

The bottom line is they are saying that this guy, Dov, is an "Anti-Globalization" activist and therefore a hero because he manufactures in Los Angeles and pays his workers $12 / hr. The clothes are not made abroad in, say, Sri Lanka, presumably like every other evil US clothes maker (Hmm, does Zara make their clothes in Spain?) He also supposedly provides health insurance.

Well, good for him. I wonder how much of a humanitarian he is though. Something tells me he is a business man first. He found a business model that works for him and it just so happens that the model includes making his T-shirts in LA. Let's see, $12.00/hr. per worker, and that worker can make about 200 or so t-shirts per hour at $16.00 each - Yep! He's raking it in! When you look at it like this, it is obscene that this work is exported abroad (Spain does it too). The profit in clothes is outrageous.

I also love how they talk about the evil "Neo-Cons" and how they are supposedly against immigration. Yeah right! What a lie. The business leaders in the US (and Spain) love immigration - even illegal. It just makes them richer. And this guy Dov is no different.

What El Pais failed to mention about ol' Dov, is how his shops are completely anti-union, that his workers have insurance that is only subsidized - not free, and how he has a penchant for exposing himself in front of the employees (they call this a "rumor"). Oh well, as long as he is Jewish-Canadian and not American!

Spanish as Secret Weapon

2008-03-19T03:41:00.000-07:00

I am the quintessential looking American white dude. So in L.A., no Latino suspects that I have a secret stealth weapon – understanding and speaking Spanish.

In Los Angeles, Spanish is everywhere. You really don’t need to speak English to get along. This makes it doubly difficult for Latino newcomers to buckle down and really learn English. Latinos also assume that there is no way that this white dude (Yo) could possibly speak Spanish, just look at him!

I can’t tell you the number of times I have spoken to someone in Spanish and they would just stare at me, dumfounded. This is not because my Spanish sucks. It’s because they were expecting English to come out of that white-boy face of mine. Their brains do not process the Spanish words. They hear the words but think it is some kind of weird language, “What the hell kind of English is that?” they ask themselves. We finally work it out after some more staring and after I ask them if they understand Spanish.

Honestly though, most of the time it is too much trouble to deal with this so I just remain in the role of the white dude that doesn’t speak Spanish. It’s easier to be what most people expect of me. Even in say, a Salvadoran restaurant, I might just order with “white-boy accent” because it just screws them up if I order in Spanish or if I say “horchata” the correct way., etc.

But the secret weapon does come in handy many, many times. I especially like to stand around while one guy translates for another guy then I just break in and answer the first guy directly. They get a kick out of that. Sometimes they say, “Watch out he speaks Spanish.”

The secret weapon is also great as an ice-breaker in social situations. With so many Spanish speaking people here, there is always something to talk about. Maybe it’s music from their particular country, their family story, and best of all, how the hell did I learn how to speak Spanish?

Not Too Sucko

2008-03-15T07:20:00.000-07:00

Alright! This El Roto's not too bad. I like it. But I still think he draws scary-looking people.

I have seen more newcomers as Limpieza people in Madrid - but not too many yet. It's still a very Spanish club. I remember being kind of shocked when I saw my first Black Limpieza guy maybe a few years back. How strange to be surprised over such a thing!

The Poison of "Us Versus Them"

2008-03-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, the elections are over in Spain and not much really changed. What everyone thought would happen did happen. Some people are very happy - they think they “won”. Others were disappointed in their team’s performance. In the end, power is still shared pretty much evenly between the two “enemies” - one team with an edge.

A lot of people got real pissed off in the process - over the issues I guess. Sometimes I feel that people work themselves up in a frenzy over a whole lot of nothing. The PSOE people think that Rajoy and the PP are goose-stepping Nazis. The PP people think the PSOE are a bunch of free-love spouting Commies. But are they really?

To me both parties (and the people who support them) are acting in good faith – the other guy is not your evil enemy. They both genuinely feel that they are doing what is best for the people and for Spain. You just don't agree with that other guy and feel he is misguided.

I don’t understand when people get so blinded by ideological labels that in their mind the other side is just evil and cannot be listened to or even tolerated. Some are not even able to be friends with a person with differing political views (in the U.S. too) – how silly! Are people so insecure? I guess so …

I also get real irritated with those who see every issue from one political point of view. They seem to have a litmus test with a script that tells them what to think. How can ALL the issues be so black and white? Surely most of us agree, and disagree, with a little bit from both the so-called “Left” and “Right” political columns if we really think about it.

And what are the main issues that divide everyone? Where is the line in the sand that people are willing to fight over? If I were explaining it to a five year old I think I would say the following:

Conservative or “Traditional” (PP):

They like families with a Mom and a Dad. They want things to stay like they have always been. Just don’t mess with stuff, please! They like God and religion because it is comfortable and they think it is best for society.
They are scared of weird people and change.
They want to keep more of their tax money and spend it where they want to and not lose control because they think government will just waste it because it is not the government's money.
They want government to just do the basics and leave the rest to the individual.
They don’t want to give a bunch of money to “help” others. They think people should help themselves. They think that giving money away does not really help anybody, it just enables others to continue to make bad decisions.
They like business and making money and think the government should stay out of it. They think that is best for the economy.

Liberal or “Progressive” (PSOE):

They like families with a Mom and a Dad but they also like “different” families. They think "different" families don't hurt anyone.
They are not too crazy about God since it seems to them that God always says to not have fun and that God does not like them if they are not the “normal” people.
They think Government should, and can, take care of a lot of stuff for you. What else is it there for? They think government can help people and that it is basically good.
They don’t mind giving money to help others. They think their tax money can really do good if used properly.
They do not trust businesses because they think that businesses will screw you royally just for the money.
They seem to be more in touch with their feelings and they care for animals, trees, and the atmosphere.

Now come on! There is a little bit of both sides in you right? There is some sense in each column. Forget the labels “Conservative” and “Liberal”, or “PP” and “PSOE” or “Democrat” and “Republican”. These people are not to be hated for their views, are they? They are your parents, your children, your neighbors. They are basically good. And the only way you're going to get them on your side, is to understand - just a little bit - their side.

In the U.S., we take politics seriously too. Both the Republicans and the Democrats think they know what is best for the country. Sometimes Democrats are in control of the country and sometimes Republicans are in control. It can get nasty - but we usually understand "It's just politics".

However it seems the whole “Us Versus Them” attitude is particularly dangerous in Spain. Parents and Grandparents of a lot of these same guys were killing each other over this stuff not too long ago. It’s time to realize it's just politics.

An L.A. Story - Area Code Snobbery

2008-03-06T19:45:00.000-08:00

Since L.A. is my hometown I tend to ignore writing about it. Los Angeles seems normal and common to me. Of course, to most of the world it is an interesting place due to it’s standing as the media-creating center of the world. L.A. is also a very big city with a lot of people spread out all over. We are not on top of each other like some other major cities – density is pretty low but there are a lot of us.

To get an idea of how many, take our dialing prefixes, or area codes. There is a shit-load of them. Since so many people have land-line telephones, faxes, cell phones, dedicated DSL lines, and god knows what else – we have run out of telephone numbers. So, we have to continually add new area codes.

In contrast, Madrid has – as far as I know – only one or two dialing prefixes. In Madrid, all land lines or “fijos” use the dialing code “91” or "90". Mobile phones start with other numbers that are easily recognizable as a mobile phone. In L.A., the mobile phones are given an area code just like land lines so you can’t tell them apart from the “fijos”.

Area codes in Los Angeles are assigned according to location. Because of this people can tell where you live, where you work, a little bit about you – solely based on your area code. So, some conclusions are drawn – even before they know you.

Here’s the quick round-up of the area codes from the point of view of an Area Code snob (not me) – click on the area code for a Google Map location:

Area Code 310 - Top of the line; Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, West Los Angeles – this is where the big money is, where the best weather and views are, the expensive houses, or interesting city life, etc. This is the coveted area code, and because of this – there are no more to give out.

Area Code 424 - Since there are no more “310” codes to give, if you move to this part of town they give you the new dreaded “overlay” area code. You are a late-comer, not a true West-sider, and obviously not cool enough to have a “310”.

Area Code 323 - Mid-city Los Angeles, Hollywood. This is not bad, kinda cool and funky, sort of the poor part of town but interesting. Good bars and museums – L.A.’s Lavapies. You may be cool – but you are poorer than “310”.

Area Code 213 - The granddaddy of all Los Angeles area codes. All of L.A. was "213" at one time. This is right, smack downtown, in the old city center. Up until recently downtown was not doing very well. People only went there to work during the day then go home promptly at 6:00 pm leaving the place a ghost-town at night. It actually is pretty happening now.

Area Code 818 – This is the San Fernando Valley, “the Valley” to the locals. To many Westside snobs (area “310”) the Valley is a cultural wasteland, they say it’s hot, and boring. You have to drive to the Westside for fun and maybe to work. That means a long commute. But the Valley pops up in movies all the time. I remember hearing Frank Zappa’s “Valley Girl” on Madrid radio in 1983 – that blew my mind.

Area Code 626 – Pasadena, East of downtown. Still an acceptable area code because of Pasadena. Pasadena is an old town part of L.A. You can get to downtown Los Angeles pretty easily – lots of nice old houses and old money.

Area Code 661 – Where? This is WAY out there past the Valley. This is like Mars to “310” people. You go there if you are ready to raise a family – and then die.

Area Code 562 – I don’t even know where this is. It must be new…

Area Code 714 – Orange county, Anaheim and Disneyland. This area is commonly referred to as “behind the Orange curtain” due to it’s fame as being strait laced, conservative, Republican, organized and clean.. Nothing wrong with that if you’re into that kind of thing… Lot’s of cookie cutter tract houses.

Area Code 805 – Ventura, the Coast, Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo. Nice places to go for a drive and taste wine. Far to live. You gotta have bucks because there are no jobs – or you are a low-bagger, living poor.

Area Codes 949, 951, 760 – Who cares? I have no idea!

That’s the roundup on the area codes. By the way, I’m no snob. But if I see any area code on my caller ID other than 310, 323, 213, and maybe 818 … I’m not answering.

When Bush, and Europe's Excuse, is Gone

2008-02-24T09:08:00.000-08:00

Filed under the "Be careful what you wish for department." Europe's hopes and prayers will be answered next January when President Bush leaves office. In his place could very well be a charismatic, articulate, young, likable, and black, liberal Democrat. There will be ONE crucial similarity however .... That liberal Democrat will still be ..... AN AMERICAN.

In one fell swoop, a whole slew of reasons why Europeans say they don't like "the American government" but do like "the American people" - are going to disappear. Those reasons were so darn convenient too! It was so easy to be pissed at Bush - and the Americans - over Kyoto, Afghanistan, Iraq, the International Criminal Court (ICC). It was so easy to associate arrogance, militarism, corporate greed, stupidity, etc., with that rich kid from Kennebunkport Maine, and by extension - to every other American.

The truth is it felt really good for Europe to have eight whole years to get it all out. To get out what they were thinking about the Americans all the time - and not just about the government. I'm sure it was really cathartic. Imagine, talking smack about the Americans - really letting it out - and having a perfect foil to play-off all those unpleasant feelings .... Bush. It was even better than hating Reagan. And the best part about it was so many Americans even agreed with you.

Well Europe, those days are going fast. Soon, a smooth-talking Democrat could be on your TV screen, at the U.N., in your city. He's going to be talking green house gases (your gases too!), he's going to be talking socialized healthcare, he's going to be talking security and China and India, he's going to be talking about how to get out of Iraq, he's going to be talking Afghanistan and doing your part.... he might even ask Europe to make some, gasp ..... sacrifices! He's going to LIKE dialogue and asking for your help...

It's going to be rough for you guys, believe me. All the standard anti-American lines are just not going to stick (i.e., white, rich, inarticulate, stupid, corporate, Republican, military, et. al.) You will know how Hillary feels now - how do we fight this guy? If he starts saying the things that you have been demanding ... then you will have to agree with the Americans! You will have to like us AND our government. Wow. The whole world will finally see how much Europe really loves us. Everyone will see that it was all Bush's fault!

Will this happen? Not likely! My advice to Europe ...... Pray for a McCain victory!

The Real American Dream

2008-02-22T19:23:00.000-08:00

High on the list of things about America that really irks Europeans is any talk of "The American Dream." This statement, or ideal, or goal, or whatever it is, just sounds like we must think it is something real special I imagine, to non-English speakers. They must tell themselves, "Well it has 'America' and 'Dream' right in there in that line. So the Americans must be trying to throw something in our faces! Let's show them why they are full of crap! American dream my ass!"

I'm pretty sure that when Europeans hear about the American dream they imagine that we think it means everyone is rich, drives a hummer, is ultra patriotic, talks about freedom all day long, or that we think we are better than any non-American, or? What do they think it is? The only thing I know is they don't like it....

Well, here's a news flash for all of you who think that the American dream is some kind of heaven. Guys, "The American Dream" is really almost a tongue-in-cheek expression - but then really it's not. The American dream is very simple, very basic, and very, very modest.

What it means is this: You, as a normal schlub, can accomplish a simple thing in America with hard work. You can own a house, a car, - have a life - and a place to raise your family and send the kids to school. You can watch TV, you can have a hobby, and then croak - unmolested. That's it!

How does that sound Europe? Is it really worth getting upset about? We are not bragging. This is no boast. It is very simple - yet very powerful, why? Because there are many countries where these simple rights and pleasures are not allowed or are not possible. I believe the American dream was invented for people from places in the world where the rich, or the army, or the local landowner, or whomever, can shoot you in the street as easily as look at you - and with no consequences. Or from places where you can work 14 hours a day and still not be able to provide for your family - nor have a place to sleep.

When you put it in that context, going to a simple job then coming home to your family to have dinner and watch TV, sounds pretty damn good doesn't it? Maybe that is heaven.

Shameless Self-Promotion

2008-02-18T15:47:00.000-08:00

Hey, a couple of people from around the web noticed me recently. I was actually interviewed by another Bloguero (actually a Bloguera) - I hope that's a real word ... A gal from Voices en Es-pan-yol, a great Spanish podcast site and bilingual blog based in Madrid asked me a few questions here. Check it out.

Also, a pretty big-shot political web site - Pajamas Media - linked to my post about European anti-Jewish sentiments here. My thing is listed right along with others from the BBC, Reuters, and CNN! You have to scroll down and look kinda hard to find my link - but it's better than a poke in the eye with a stick!

And a gal from Zaragoza - who doesn't like to give links - also posted a piece of that same essay here.

Thanks to all of you.

The European Jewish Obsession

2008-02-13T20:11:00.000-08:00

I think progress will be made in Spain on the subject of race relations. There will be more immigration and therefore more possibilities for interaction between Spaniards and Blacks, Latinos, Chinos, and Polacos, etc. However, there is one (small) group that will have to wait for their day, one road that will be a long one in Spain…. The road that ends with the Spanish and Europeans giving a break to the Jews.

Talking crap about the Jews is the last protected area of inappropriate free-speech in Europe. The Jews are open game. No one will disagree with the common assumptions – age old wrong assumptions – about the Jews. I have been in conversations with many a Spaniard when the usual Jewish conspiracy theories are raised. Let’s see… The Jews somehow control major aspects of the U.S. Government, huh? The United States is at least 40% Jewish – actual percentage: 2%. Secret Jewish organizations run the media … et al. One guy, a very educated Spanish guy, once told me that the Jews upset the natural balance in Spain because they work too hard!

Bottom line, to them the Jews = Conservative politics, conspiracy theories, arms industry, evil police state, evil U.S. empire in league with Israel, oh and of course, only interested in money.

To me the Jews = Liberal politics, hard work, value of family and education, one of the very few democracies in the Middle East, tiny place surrounded by 22 other countries that want to kill them, they couldn’t care less about converting you and, who doesn’t like money?

It seems to me that the people in Europe who have a knee-jerk reaction to dislike the Jews - haven’t really stepped back to analyze the situation. Are Jewish people really so different than the typical Western European? Would it really be so bad to have Jews living next door to you? Sure they may have a real Mercedes while you have a Smart car, but I’m betting that’s because they studied, and then worked, their kosher asses off to get it.

The Jews are socially liberal, drink booze, don’t give a bad time to gays, work hard, have mothers who want to feed you, don't go on welfare, don’t force their religion on you, they respect women, don’t give a rat’s ass what you do as long as you leave them alone.. What’s wrong with that picture?

They sound like good neighbors to me.

Is This Offensive or Funny? I Really Don't know ....

2008-02-09T08:16:00.000-08:00

Help me out...

Check out this video from El Pais. I know this is that puppet political show from TV and they are pretty brutal to everyone.... On this one they have Condoleezza Rice disguised as Barack Obama so she can start fights between the real Obama and Hillary. How can Condoleezza be disguised as Obama? Well, she’s black of course, just like him...

Does this cross the line or am I overreacting? Is this "Spanish humor", so it's alright? I know this would not be OK in the States, at least I think I know ...

Buzzed Blogging

2008-02-08T19:58:00.000-08:00

Alright, I'll admit it. Sometimes I drink about half a bottle of wine and start writing down whatever random thought is in my head - hopefully it doesn't show too much. The scary part is this method sometimes produces interesting posts. I think all those big guys like Hemingway and Henry Miller used to booze it up a lot, right? Have to justify it somehow.. At least tonight I'm sampling a Ribera del Duero purchased from the Whole Foods Market in L.A.... Gotta love globalization.

Tonight my random thoughts are still tuned to race. I always kinda wondered why the Spanish are prejudiced against the South Americans (Peruvians, Ecuadorians, et al, etc.) in Madrid ... The so-called "Sudacas". This is interesting to me because the Spanish CREATED the South Americans. They are their children so to speak. The South Americans in Madrid speak Spanish, are Catholic, share ALL religious holidays, have a shared history, they are like cousins. There should be some sense of , "Alright we royally screwed these guys so let's give a little back.."

But there really isn't that sense. It seems like they see them as foreigners equal to say, the Chinese - that's strange to me. I like the South Americans in Madrid. To me they bring a little more interest to the stew.. It was getting a little bland if you know what I mean. And let's be honest, the Spanish have to get over this "No spicy food" thing. It's almost like a badge of honor to them! I know that Mexicans are scarce, but maybe some day we'll even get decent Mexican food in Madrid - although I won't hold my breath.

Racists? Who Us?

2008-02-05T07:48:00.000-08:00

Spain is learning what a minefield the subject of race is to everyone. It is a very, very difficult subject. What do you think we have been doing over here (in the U.S.) for so many years? Well … learning about different people, learning about ourselves, learning what other people think is offensive, trying to figure out how to help people previously hurt, trying to make things fair – and many times in that process making things more unfair (i.e., quotas). We have had a head-start on Spain in the race department, but it seems that Spain wants to skip the first basic step. And that first step is to simply recognize that there is a problem. They would rather jump ahead to we are doing fine…. "You people are crazy, for saying there's a problem."

The Spanish do not realize that they have inappropriate views on race because that’s the way it has always been and everyone thinks the same way. I guess that’s a fair argument. A white man from 1950’s Alabama was a product of his environment. But it is time to start to change.

Maybe Spain needs their own Archie Bunker to teach them what is offensive. Archie Bunker from TV’s, “All in the Family” was a ground breaking 1970’s TV character. He was a good man but a bigot. Everyone knew that whatever he said was what you were NOT supposed to say and think. He was very effective. Spanish TV would like him too because he taught that everything politically conservative was wrong (no slanted viewpoint there!)

One of these days, and pretty damn soon too, the people of color in Spain will not be just a small minority afraid to get together to demand their rights from the Spanish “Man”. I wonder what the Spanish equivalent of the NAACP will be? And which minority group will start it?

Ask an American!

2008-01-30T21:10:00.001-08:00

Time for another edition of ASK AN AMERICAN!

Dear American,

Why are you people such bible thumpers? It’s always, ”God bless this and God bless that!” And I can’t believe you morons are so stupid that you question Darwin. Everyone knows that evolution is gospel! Umm, I mean … true. God had his day and that day was a long time ago! Now we have science and science is never wrong. Why don’t you people just get with the program?

Signed, Smug with all the Answers

Dear Smug,

Oh Puh-Leeze! No one knows what the F--- is really going on yet! Science is great but they are always telling us, "Er, guys, remember when we said .. Blah, Blah ... well we screwed up and found out it is really like this .... Blah". Of course the world is not 6,000 years old and the theory of evolution seems to be the best answer to how we evolved but no one really knows how life began in the first place! Those Holy Rollers have as much to say, on that subject at least, as Einstein. You Europeans were so screwed by the Church over so many centuries that of course you can’t stand religion. We did not have that problem. To many Americans God is not a four letter word, and it seems to me that the extent of our knowledge still leaves a little mystery left. So, the next time you are so sure of your beliefs … remember that at one time the scientific consensus was - the world is flat!

Signed, American

Dear American,

Living in Germany - the land of whispers - I have noticed that Americans talk rather loudly e.g. while waiting in the check-out, on the sidewalk and wherever else. Private conversations are held loudly as if nobody understood anyway. Again, this is coming from an observation made in Germany. Why do you talk so loudly as if you were the only one around?

Signed, Up-Tight German Whisperer

Dear Up-Tight,

I’ll tell you why … It’s because most Americans are born in, grow up in, and live in ….. HOUSES! We don’t have to worry about neighbors on top of us, to the side of us, below us, etc. listening in to our conversations about our hemorrhoids through the window of the patio. Our nearest neighbor might be 50 meters away. It is simply a function of environment and adaptation. We have to learn to communicate with other loud Americans downstairs, or way in the front yard, etc. It also might be because we are not worried about the Gestapo or the Stasi overhearing us.

Signed, American

Dear American,

How come in the movies if an American is being mistreated or arrested by a policeman in Europe or something they always say, “You can’t do that to me I’m an American!” What’s up with that? Do you people think you are so much better than anyone else that your precious freedom cannot be messed with?

Signed, Takes it Like a Man When Arrested

Dear Takes it Well,

I have three words for you ….IT’S A JOKE! The director of the movie is obviously making fun of Americans who would say something stupid like,” You can’t do that to me I’m an American ….!” Etc. It is funny (to Europeans) to make fun of Americans who think they are somehow above the law. Obviously we are not – so get a sense of humor and laugh at the stereotype of an arrogant American like you’re supposed to! And stop thinking that movies are real life!

Signed, American

Questions for an American: LaMadridFiles@gmail.com

Think of the Bragging Rights!

2008-01-25T08:28:00.000-08:00

I saw this article over at WatchingAmerica.com. It sums up what I have been noticing. The bottom line? Europe is going to be freaked out if Obama wins. It would fly in the face of all the pre-conceived notions about race in America. The most surprising thing? The European left is less supportive of Obama than the right!

I am just waiting for the Spanish press to come up with a slew a negatives on Obama, let's see what they could say ..... "He's not really that black" ..... "Only the black people in the U.S. voted for him" ...... "It's because it's so screwed up in the U.S. - that's why he was elected"..... etc.

Although it is too early to tell what he really stands for but to tell you the truth, I think I want Obama just for the bragging rights. That would be really fun in Madrid!

Some good quotes from the Article:

"In Europe, one perceives a guilty attitude. The Left-wing, which tends to attribute to the

United States

imperialist foreign policy and discrimination against Black and Hispanic people, is not welcoming Obama’s ascent as one would expect."

"On sending the message that they are ready to elect an African-American, a part of American society is exhibiting an attitude much less prejudiced than commonly attributed to this country. This lesson proves particularly uncomfortable for socialist Europe."

"Perceiving that the racial mobility implicit to Obama’s personal history is publicity almost too good for the American society, the Latin American Left-wing has tempered its enthusiasm for the African-American senator."

Spanish Restaurant and Bar Survival - 101

2008-01-23T07:58:00.000-08:00

One of the most important aspects of hanging out in Madrid is going out to eat or to “tomar algo”, in a restaurant, café, or bar. This experience can be fantastic, due to the great food, drink and people watching available - or it can be stressful if you are a novice. Because of this, I’ve decided to put together a few tips to help out visitors, and maybe even Spain-dwellers alike, negotiate the situation.

1) Go to the right place at the right time – In Madrid, there are very strict schedules for eating and “tomaring algo”. Don’t go looking for lunch at 12:30 PM in a restaurant (or dinner at 7:00 pm). Don’t try to get a vodka martini at American happy hour time of 6:00 PM, etc. Watch and copy the natives to learn the proper times for each “activity”.

2) Learn a Few “Key Phrases” – If you don’t speak Spanish you have to learn a handful of key phrases to get you in the door and to your table. For example, at a restaurant for “la comida”, walk in with confidence (see rule #4) and say, “Dos para comer”, etc. Don’t give them a chance to doubt you.

3) You have to break the Ice – In the U.S., it is up to the staff at the restaurant to make the customer feel comfortable and welcome…not usually so in Madrid. You are the one who has to speak first to the waiter / bar-man to show him you are not a pain in the ass tourist (even though you may be). Use one of your “key phrases” like a simple “Buenas!”

4) Project Calm Assertive Energy – Make sure they can feel your calm assertive energy. Act like you belong where ever you are. Don’t let the wait-staff smell any doubt or fear on you. If they do - you’re dead. Banished to the, “I can definitely screw with this one” pile. They will then make sport of you like a cat with an injured bird. This is essential in the most intimidating of all Spanish eating venues .... the tapas bar. The tapas bar is like a war-zone. You can take no prisoners. No matter the crowds, or the fact that you can’t EVEN IMAGINE fitting in there, you MUST get to as near the bar as you can, and using one of your key phrases, LOUDLY say without fear, “Dos vinos tintos Porfavor!”

5) Be aware of the Spanish “people-categories” – Look around, there are always the same kinds of people at a Spanish restaurant or bar and Spanish waiters must put you into one of these categories to feel comfortable. Take a restaurant for example, there’s the two or three older ladies out eating after shopping, the two businessmen, the young couple with tattoos, the group of late-thirties single women smoking up a storm, the workmen dusty from the nearby obras, etc. Your job is to avoid the dreaded “unknown” category, or worse yet the “obvious tourist”. You do this by following rules #1 thru #4 and by making them doubt – just a little - which category to put you in. You’re shooting for, “Some kind of person, maybe foreign, but obviously seems to belong here”. When I eat alone, I bring a newspaper and I go for the, ”Maybe he is some kind of Business man who comes to Madrid a lot” category. Now days, Madrid is full of so many different nationalities that this should be easy if you follow rules #1 thru #4.

Or, you can forget all the above and just become a regular at one place for breakfast, another place for lunch, and another for afternoon café, then make your own dinner. They will get to know you and they will be nice. Try to pick places run by the owners. Oh, and at the tapas bar, just get a Spanish friend to do the ordering – that’s what I do, those places scare the crap out of me.

One Response to Anti-Yanquiism

2008-01-19T08:00:00.000-08:00

April fools day is coming up in the U.S. (April 1st – OK, maybe I’m a little early). If you want to celebrate in Spain and can’t think of a good gag to play on your Spanish friends – go with the following:

Tell people in Spain that the number one song in the U.S. right now is Randy Newman’s “Political Science” (written in 1972!), I think most people would believe you. (hint: the “big one” is the atomic bomb and just to be ABSOLUTELY CLEAR people, he is MAKING FUN of Americans who would think this way). Of course, the joke is that Spanish people would believe that this song is serious. Lyrics here:

No one likes us
I don't know why.
We may not be perfect
But heaven knows we try.
But all around even our old friends put us down.
Let's drop the big one and see what happens.

We give them money
But are they grateful?
No they're spiteful
And they're hateful.
They don't respect us so let's surprise them;
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them.

Now Asia's crowded
And Europe's too old.
Africa's far too hot,
And Canada's too cold.
And South America stole our name.
Let's drop the big one; there'll be no one left to blame us.

We'll save Australia;
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo.
We'll build an all-American amusement park there;
They've got surfing, too.

Well, boom goes London,
And boom Pear-EE
More room for you
And more room for me.
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town.
Oh, how peaceful it'll be;
We'll set everybody free;
You'll wear Japanese kimonos, baby,
There'll be Italian shoes for me.
They all hate us anyhow,
So let's drop the big one now.
Let's drop the big one now.

Randy Newman is a friggin genius, depressed, but a genius. He's a unique kind of a songwriter. His songs are like little novels narrated by the characters he creates – they are not “him” talking. This one is narrated by some nameless American idiot (but a funny and kind of insightful idiot) who can’t understand why the world doesn’t like us. Oddly enough, sometimes I am that idiot….

Of course this is funny, terrifying, hilarious, crazy, and believable that an American would feel this way (… hmm, let’s see.. do I think? ….… NAHHH!).

This song has cracked me up for years. My favorite line? "We'll set everybody free!"

Hear it here:

"Ask an American" Update

2008-01-16T08:17:00.000-08:00

Thank you Ben Curtis for rocking my world. I was happy over here .. all alone ... with my 15 visitors a day then you linked to my "Ask an American" feature and suddenly - 150 a day! You are a stud!

Some of the global citizens are humor-challenged when the subject is Americans. I understand. People are pissed off about stuff (had to delete a few comments for the first time - but most were positive). "Ask an American" is meant to be humorous and irreverent, a way to point out our similarities, more than our differences, and to poke fun at Americans and non-Americans alike. If I answer any more questions I am determined to keep it fun.

So stand by to see if we get some good questions - got a few. There were a lot of visits but not sure if the global citizens want to play along yet. (Hell, I may ask my own questions again - I have a million of them for myself) And remember, think funny .... insulting - fine, but funny. And also don't forget the clever sign-off name. Questions to an American: LaMadridFiles@gmail.com

In the mean time, L.A.-Madrid Files will return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Ask an American!

2008-01-12T19:06:00.001-08:00

We are starting a new copyrighted feature hear at L.A.-Madrid Files. It is a public service of sorts in the format of a write-in answer column that I know will be useful to the Spain dwellers. It's called ASK AN AMERICAN!

Sometimes people have questions about Americans that they really don't know how to answer - or whom to ask. They can't ask their friends and risk having them know that they are interested in Americans. Well, worry no more! I will answer your questions about Americans!

Since nobody really wrote in to ask me any questions, I will start you off ....

Dear American,

I am a waiter in a restaurant “tipico” here in Madrid. Why is it that when Americans come in they are all smiley and everything? I treat them like crap as much as possible ... You know the usual, I make them wait a real long time to take their order, I forget to bring them one meal for awhile, make them do feeble hand waving gestures trying to get the check, etc. And then, when they pay the bill, they STILL leave an EXTRA amount of money on the table. What gives?

Signed, Confused Camarero

Dear CC,

Well, in the land of the Yanquis, people actually try to treat the waiters like humans. They believe that being polite and nice helps them get good service, and it is also just good manners. In addition, you may have noticed that the Yanquis are foreigners and therefore are on vacation. People on vacation are usually happy (at least when they came in to your restaurant). The extra money they left on the table is called a “tip”. It is a way of thanking a Cabron such as yourself for serving them. The Americans probably over-compensated, since they know you hate them simply for who they are, so they didn’t dare give you what you deserved – which was NADA!

Signed, American

Dear American,

Why do you guys love war so much? It seems that every time I turn around there are bombs dropping on brown people somewhere in the world, what’s the deal?

Signed, Little Pinko Pacifist

Dear Little PP,

Who’s going to make war if not us? The European Union? Don’t make me spit up my hamburger and freedom fries! Those guys would be afraid of offending the people they have to drop bombs on. You know that the Americans are the only ones with the Nads big enough (and maybe the brains small enough) to start a bunch of trouble and then end it. If it wasn’t for us fighting your wars for you .. well ... then YOU would have to do it.... Is that what you want? I didn't think so.

Signed, American

Dear American,

I am a Spanish university student at the Complutense in Madrid. I read El Pais and 20minutos daily and of course I believe everything I read. Whenever those papers talk about the “typical” American, they say that they are fat, stupid, racist, greedy, no-soul capitalist scumbags. But whenever I meet an American student, they look and act pretty much like me. There are even a few Rubia-Yanquis I would totally like to bang, is that wrong?

Signed, Meter Mano Traitor?

Dear Meter Mano,

Thanks to globalization (thank you Yanquis) the chicks – Spanish and American - all dress the same and will take their clothes off equally as fast. Gone are the days when Spanish men had to hunt Suecas or slutty Americanas just to get laid. Since the girls are essentially the same now (don’t believe what El Pais says) go ahead and bang at will. Those girls are global citizens, just like you, and are free game.

Signed, American

Do you have a question for an American? LaMadridFiles@gmail.com

Another Gem

2008-01-10T07:24:00.000-08:00

Hey El Roto! What if it's a war against Hitler? What if it's a war for the Spanish Republic? Do you still run? What if everyone on this planet doesn't play by your enlightened rules that all wars are wrong - and they come for you?

My father and his three brothers fought in World War II. They signed up - all of them. My father enlisted at nineteen years of age - then went to the Pacific theater.

Here is his picture:

America is Spain's Crystal Ball - Volume II

2008-01-07T19:24:00.000-08:00

I said I would make a list of societal trends that have come to Spain AFTER they had already taken hold in the States. I want to do this to remind myself of these things and then try to think of anything new that might be coming to Spain in the future.

First I will remind myself of some of the social trends that are happening now in Spain that came from the States. Here goes:

- Anti-Smoking Laws; I remember when Spaniards loved to give me a hard time about the supposed lack of freedom in California because of anti-smoking laws. I always told them, “Just wait, Chavales. Cigarettes are expensive to governments. It’s not about freedom. It’s about hospital bills”.

- Immigration and "Racism"; Many a time I was chastised for the poor treatment by nasty racist Californians of the Mexican immigrants. They would tell me, “See how racist Americans are? The Mexicans are all dishwashers and nannies…” Of course Spain had NO new-comers. (I’m sick of the term ‘immigrants’)

- 30 Year Mortgages; Spain is still in shock over being in debt for a house for so long. Of course, this is old news in the U.S. My parents had a 30-year mortgage in 1952. These loans made a whole generation of homeowners out of poor farmers and ex-service men.

- Easy Credit and Credit Cards; In 1985 – 87 or so, I had a credit card that no one would accept in Madrid, or hardly anyone. Spanish people are really in the early stages of learning how to deal with the instant gratification of credit cards and easy credit loans. Americans already know how dangerous it is to run up a tab you can’t pay – other than the minimum payments – and how easy it is to get screwed by them.

- Political Correctness; I’m pretty sure we invented this due to the many different peoples we have. We got real sensitive which is a good thing really if it doesn’t get silly and out of hand. It seems that Europe is bringing political correctness to a new high though.

- Getting Fat; Let’s face it, Spanish people are getting fatter. It is true that in the 80’s and 90’s and before, when everyone was walking everywhere, when there were no chalets and people driving into Madrid to work, when stress was low, when there were more “old ways” (which were great – don’t get me wrong), people were thin and trim. But with modern life the Spanish have to join the Americans on the scale and wonder why their ass is so big. Don’t worry, the Spanish will learn about the gym and the Stairmaster….

- Volunteer, Professional Military; It used to be that every young man had to do “the Mili” in Spain – it was basically a draft. Now there are ads in the Metro for the professional military. There are also many Spain new-comers enlisting – maybe not even citizens - people of color ... Sound familiar?

- Spray Can Graffiti; Sorry about that Spain.

OK, now for the crystal ball part. Some of the trends that are, sooner or later, coming to Spain:

- Weakening of Labor Unions; This cleaners strike in the Madrid Metro has to be pissing off the normal citizen. I know people want to be supportive but they are going to reach their limit. People are struggling, they have crappy jobs and these guys have good pay, no skills, tons of days off, major benefits, etc. and they are making the ordinary Madrileno’s life miserable. Watch out unions, there are fifty guys waiting to take your job… for less.

- Separation Between Church and State; This one is actually incredible to an American. The Spanish government actually pays the Catholic church.. Oh, and it’s the Americans who are all religious and wacky? They PAY THE CATHOLIC CHURCH! But no other religion!!! The U.S. has had a separation between the government and ANY RELIGION for HUNDREDS OF YEARS. WTF! This has to end.

- Environmental Sensitivity; I know Spain is a pretty country but it is old Europe. They didn’t have any unspoiled scenery to work with like California did. But they really have to ratchet the "environmental sensitivity" up a notch. They will. Recycling will get easier, people will learn not to throw shit on the ground every two seconds, they will learn not to think that an apartment building is the best use of every piece of land. …

- Organic Foods, Healthy Fast Foods; Some day there will be the Spanish versions of Whole Foods Market or Wild Oats, or at least a section in the supermercados for organic foods, soy, vegetarian stuff, etc. And something other than Burger King and KFC in the fast foods department. Something like Baja Fresh or Asian fast food.

- Death of the Bullfight, Animal Rights; I really don’t want to see this one happen but I can just see the EU coming up with some animal rights law in the future that will penalize Spain for the Bullfight. Couple that with many young people not really being into the fiesta nacional - spells doom I fear.

- The End of the “Permanent” Job Contract; This one will take awhile and is terrifying to the Spanish. The state of California is known as an “at will state” which means you can be fired, or laid-off, at any time for any reason. Of course people can sue their employers if there is some really nasty reason you were let go, and discrimination is illegal. But because there are no “permanent jobs” in California, employers are less afraid of hiring new people when they need them – hence unemployment is lower.

- Two Party Political System; What the hell is the communist party doing in Spain? Answer: making sure no one party has a majority - not even PSOE. Let’s face it, PSOE is moving towards the center from the Left and the PP is moving towards the center from the Right (well, maybe not too fast). There is no room for Fascists or Communists anymore. Ironically, in the U.S. in ten years time, we may have a three party system.

That’s what could be coming to Spain.

America is Spain's Crystal Ball; The Spanish Education System

2008-01-02T16:28:00.000-08:00

I have seen quite a few changes happen in Spain over the years and I have to tell you that a very specific pattern has emerged. That pattern is … every modern societal trend that happens in Spain - happened first in the United States, good and bad.

One of these days I'll make a list, but for right now one of the issues the Spanish media is talking about is the education system. Test scores are low, Johnny (Jose) can’t read or do arithmetic, the kids are mean to their teachers, the kids would rather watch TV and play video games, etc. So a lot of hand-wringing is going on. How do we fix this? Why is this happening? It’s the teachers’ fault! Yeahh that’s it, it can’t be our little angels…

Well, I’m afraid it is your lazy Brats' fault, and your fault (the parents). How do I know? I know because this is old news in the States. Gone are the days when Spain can point to the U.S. and proudly proclaim, “Their test scores are low because the Americans are idiots!” No, just like in the U.S., there are three main reasons test scores are low in Spain.

1) Spain is no longer a poor country. The native born kids are getting fat (literally) and lazy. (Yes, just like the Americans did starting around 1970 - and I say now improving). This is simply due to human nature. People take the path of least resistance and parents don't push their kids to study. The kids now have a sense of entitlement. When they are young they have all the modern gadgets and distractions of a rich country and when they are a little older they think life will always continue being easy. Couple this with a fatalistic attitude about getting a good job and it’s a wonder they get out of bed! Well, there is always the Botellon ...

2) First generation new-comers who test poorly because they are challenged economically and /or have language difficulties … and,

3) Misguided education reforms trying to be enlightened instead of just sticking to teaching the old way.

So here’s the crystal ball part. Spain will go through the process of “reforming” the education system (read: screwing it up to be too politically correct and complicated - this has already started for some time). They will fill racial quotas, they will be afraid of giving failing grades, they will coddle the kids and blame the teachers, and all this will just make it worse. Just like it did here in the U.S.

More crystal ball stuff… There will be groups of students who will consistently kick ass on the native-born students in terms of school performance. These are some of the immigrants … the ones whose parents value education, the ones whose parents are struggling, the ones who will succeed even if it kills them. I will go out on a limb and say this will be the Asians, Africans, and even the South Americans since they will work very hard. These people will know an opportunity when they see one (free education), and hard work will not scare them.

Back to the States; There is a reason they call UCLA the “University of Caucasians Lost among Asians.” We don't have racial quotas anymore and the best students are winning and filling the universities - the Asians!

El Sucko Still at it.

2007-12-31T11:41:00.000-08:00

I continue to have an ass-full of El Roto. I realize that I can't think of a clever name for him so I will just resort to being childish. This El Pais cartoonist never misses an opportunity to put a negative spin on the U.S. Of course it is very politically correct to do this in Spain, it sells papers, it provides a convenient scapegoat, it very clearly states that in America we are so different than everyone else - sorry, not true. Nationalism, religionism (if that's a word), regionalism, and flag waving, are going strong all over the world. But only the Americans are perceived as being "too patriotic". Why is this? And why does it irritate Europeans so?

Check out this optimistic gem to help you bring in the new year:

I am really surprised there wasn't an American flag painted on the side of that rock. I also noticed that the 2008 asteroid seems to be headed right for Spain.

Happy New Year Spain! - from El Roto!

The 10 Best Things About the U.S.

2007-12-22T10:35:00.000-08:00

I’m jumping on the “10 Best Things List” band-wagon. It all started with Notes From Spain’s “10 most annoying things about Spain”, then moved on to Ben's "10 best things about Spain”, because Spanish people got so pissed, to Show Me Spain’s “Top 10 best things about the states” list.

Now it’s my turn. I certainly wasn't going to do a “worst” list about Spain. That is just scary because I value my life. But let's just say that a few of my "10 best" are items that I think Spain could learn from.

Here goes:

1) Ethnic Diversity, Integration and Solidarity.

If you come to the U.S. from wherever, and you want to be part of the club, you will be. You will be an American and no one will tell you you’re not. I don’t care if you have an accent, are a funny color, worship funny gods, etc. This club is open to all and we are the best at the difficult task of integrating different people into our group. There is no Catalan silliness here. Texans may think they are “bigger” than New Yorkers, but in the end they know they are Americans just like the rest of us.

2) Continuity of Government, The U.S. Constitution, and Amendments.

We may fight and complain about who we elected as President but we know that there will be a President and not a General in charge. Even when all that crap went down with Al Gore and the Florida voters, nothing really nasty happened. Of course we knew there would be no Coup or something stupid like that. And the Constitution and Amendments? We really take those pieces of paper seriously. We have been discussing them, arguing over them, re-reading them, and following them, etc. for hundreds of years! Pretty wild.

3) General Honesty from People.

Generally speaking, I believe you can expect honesty when dealing with people in the U.S. We are taught that it is morally right to be honest. This is our strength and weakness. Sometimes people come from countries where this is not the case, where you have to screw your fellow citizen just to survive (not Spain). These people find that the U.S. is a giant playground made specifically for them to rip off trusting Americans, or the government – until they get caught. September 11 was possible because we trusted those scumbags to behave, just like we trust everyone who comes here. That one jumped up and bit us in the ass.

4) Best Movies, TV Shows, and Music.

Of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but our movies kick ass. TV shows also are really the best (of course there are crappy ones too). We even do it without government subsidies. All Spanish movie stars know they have made it when they can go to Los Angeles and make movies. American movies make the most money even in Europe where hordes of moviegoers crowd theaters then feel guilty about liking American movies. And music? Please… Jazz, Rock ‘n’ Roll, Blues… Everyone likes at least one type of American music.

5) Incredible Geographic Diversity and Beauty.

We really have it all from slimy cities to incredible unspoiled beauty and wide-open spaces and everything in between. There are beaches, deserts, mountains, forests, and junk yards. If you want to drive on a straight road with nothing in site for hundreds of miles you can do it. If you want to ski in Southern California and then surf the next day you can do that too. Oh, and the coast of California … No nasty hotels or apartments on the beach.

6) Best Customer Service.

We are reaching a critical level of people complaining about this in Spain - something has to give. In the U.S., businesses know who is the boss. When they forget - they go out of business. Businesses and service providers here better kiss your ass or we get pissed. Everyone here knows the saying, “The customer is always right.” We believe it and expect it. In Spain it seems like companies feel that, “The customer is the one we get to screw”.

7) Best Place to be Creative, Start a Business, Make a Million Bucks.

The U.S. is the place to think of something new, something off the wall, something creative, that new device, that thing that cuts onions better than anything, etc. and make a million bucks, or just a living. Maybe it is something boring like selling hangers… whatever it is you can start your own business, work your ass off, sell a jillion of them, and be an obnoxious rich American (wink). Sure there is red tape, taxes, and hoops to jump through, but there is less here.

8) Rule of Law, You Can Fight City Hall and Win.

We take the judicial system seriously and follow the rules. If you don’t like your government, something it did, something it ruled on, how it treated you… you can fight City Hall and win… It may not be easy but it’s easier here. If you think a company is screwing you or the people. You can sue, you can vote, you can run for office. You can go on the evening news and get people on your side.

9) The ACLU and the NRA.

We have all types, all free to try to get whichever crazy idea they have turned into law. We have the American Civil Liberties Union defending pedophiles and fighting for the rights of Nazis to march in the streets and we have the National Rifle Association making sure you can go buy a gun if you want to. Now that’s freedom!

10) Best Place to get an Education.

Let’s be honest. Some people in Europe like to say that Americans are stupid. Does this really make any sense? All the best universities are here. There seems to be a lot of research and innovation coming out of these stupid Americans. If you want an education and you are serious about working hard, you will get one. You will find grant money, or loans, or go to a state university basically for free.

That's my list.

Kadafi - What a Guy!

2007-12-19T08:40:00.000-08:00

One of the standard gripes that many Europeans have against the Americans is what they perceive of as us acting “in our interests”. This is usually applied to any dealings by the U.S. with unsavory world leaders, dictators, related business deals, etc., especially during the cold war, and usually because dealing with said character was the lesser of two evils. A perfect solution? Hardly. But there you have it. The world is complicated.

I really can’t count the number of times I have been in discussions when Europeans have brought up this issue. Man they love to bitch about this! They naturally expected the U.S. to always do what they perceived as the "right thing" in each situation. The implication being that European governments would not act like the U.S. government.

Now the EU is growing up, and growing up means decisions must be made on your own. Spain, France, all of those guys, now have to decide what is in THEIR best interests. Kadafi the dictator is in town and European leaders are lining up to kiss his ass, sell him services, sell him guns, buy oil, in short, everything in their interests.

Hey, I’m not saying it’s wrong necessarily... Making decisions in this complicated world is not easy. I just wish that the hypocrisy was recognized. But doubt it will be ....

Spanish Inferiority Complex Alive and Well

2007-12-16T09:20:00.000-08:00

What the hell is going on with these Spanish people getting their panties in a wad over some silly (very mild) criticisms about Spain?

I really am trying to make sense of this. It may take me awhile to write something coherent. There is a HUGE inferiority complex running rampant in these people.

And talk about a disproportionate response! The commenters go for the juggler on the Brits calling them pigs, drunks, dirty…. etc. They even dragged the Americans into it because they can’t tell the difference between Brits and Americans. I thought only Americans can't distinguish nationalities? Yeahh, right.

And my favorite foil 20minutos.com completely adds to the fire by mischaracterizing Ben’s site as one whose main point is to criticize Spain – what A-Holes!

Again I say, the Spanish have no idea what it means to take criticism on a daily basis about your country... with aplomb.

What I Accomplished in Madrid

2007-12-16T05:35:00.000-08:00

Answer - not much.

I was in Madrid for a while (back in L.A. now) and since I am a goal-oriented individual I am usually thinking about what I've accomplished, or what I haven't accomplished - so I can then feel badly about it.

Let's see .... I found this old table top in the street near the Plaza Mayor. It is from a bar there called "La Posta de Quitapenas". Which I would say means, "The Place to Forget Your Troubles". It looked like a deal - free. So I picked it up carried it home and worked on it a little to make it presentable. Not much, just added some stain around the edges to make the cheap particle board look "aged", cleaned the front with furniture polish, etc, and hung it on the wall. I like the "old Madrid" look, and I like the sentiment too. I do want Madrid to be the place to forget my troubles at least.

Did you know that Madrid now has THREE IKEAs? I'm afraid that I do. I went to all of them on this trip, which is pretty pathetic since I was in Madrid - where there are a few things to see other than huge furniture stores that are exactly the same in Los Angeles.

IKEA is a total pain but I love it. You see, things are expensive in Spain. The dollar sucks ass, and there seems to be only two versions of furniture stores. 1) The fancy Spanish or Italian (modern or traditional) store where everything costs a boatload of money and the people seem to enjoy paying for it for the status or something and, 2) The really crappy old-looking furniture that Grandma buys and seems to be in every Spanish house you walk into. I am trying to do a modern look so my only (affordable) choice is IKEA.

Don't get me wrong. IKEA is a battleground. You have to know what you want, know how to put it together, know that however much you plan something will be missing, or they will be out of the one thing you want (hence the trips to the 3 stores in Madrid), and just know that you are on your own - actually that's the way I like it.

This trip's goal was to install one section of kitchen cabinets (a pantry) and to replace the old propane tank stove I've been using with an electric one. Well, most of the job was done. I got the kitchen pantry installed including a section for the "bar" but the stove is not in, it is purchased though and sitting in the house - which believe me, is an accomplishment.

There is still a piece of "Zocalo", or baseboard, missing over there in the corner. Guess what that means? Another trip to IKEA to get another piece ..... next time..

Other than these two jobs I mostly just ate and drank too much. Nice!