Time for another edition of ASK AN AMERICAN!
Why are you people such bible thumpers? It’s always, ”God bless this and God bless that!” And I can’t believe you morons are so stupid that you question Darwin. Everyone knows that evolution is gospel! Umm, I mean … true. God had his day and that day was a long time ago! Now we have science and science is never wrong. Why don’t you people just get with the program?
Signed, Smug with all the Answers
Oh Puh-Leeze! No one knows what the F--- is really going on yet! Science is great but they are always telling us, "Er, guys, remember when we said .. Blah, Blah ... well we screwed up and found out it is really like this .... Blah". Of course the world is not 6,000 years old and the theory of evolution seems to be the best answer to how we evolved but no one really knows how life began in the first place! Those Holy Rollers have as much to say, on that subject at least, as Einstein. You Europeans were so screwed by the Church over so many centuries that of course you can’t stand religion. We did not have that problem. To many Americans God is not a four letter word, and it seems to me that the extent of our knowledge still leaves a little mystery left. So, the next time you are so sure of your beliefs … remember that at one time the scientific consensus was - the world is flat!
Living in Germany - the land of whispers - I have noticed that Americans talk rather loudly e.g. while waiting in the check-out, on the sidewalk and wherever else. Private conversations are held loudly as if nobody understood anyway. Again, this is coming from an observation made in Germany. Why do you talk so loudly as if you were the only one around?
Signed, Up-Tight German Whisperer
I’ll tell you why … It’s because most Americans are born in, grow up in, and live in ….. HOUSES! We don’t have to worry about neighbors on top of us, to the side of us, below us, etc. listening in to our conversations about our hemorrhoids through the window of the patio. Our nearest neighbor might be 50 meters away. It is simply a function of environment and adaptation. We have to learn to communicate with other loud Americans downstairs, or way in the front yard, etc. It also might be because we are not worried about the Gestapo or the Stasi overhearing us.
How come in the movies if an American is being mistreated or arrested by a policeman in Europe or something they always say, “You can’t do that to me I’m an American!” What’s up with that? Do you people think you are so much better than anyone else that your precious freedom cannot be messed with?
Signed, Takes it Like a Man When Arrested
Dear Takes it Well,
I have three words for you ….IT’S A JOKE! The director of the movie is obviously making fun of Americans who would say something stupid like,” You can’t do that to me I’m an American ….!” Etc. It is funny (to Europeans) to make fun of Americans who think they are somehow above the law. Obviously we are not – so get a sense of humor and laugh at the stereotype of an arrogant American like you’re supposed to! And stop thinking that movies are real life!
Questions for an American: LaMadridFiles@gmail.com