Sunday, October 26, 2008

I am in Control of the U.S. Presidential Elections

I’m a relatively old guy (46 y.o.) and have voted in every presidential election since 1980. Problem is, I have never picked a winner - not once. So, I’m going with the completely logical theory that I personally have the power to decide the outcome of the U.S. Presidential elections. The winner will be whomever I don't pick. Of course, I am not considering the theory that I just sometimes make boneheaded voting choices.

Let’s review my voting record. This by the way, is very personal information. You’re not really supposed to do this, voting is between you and the booth. But I don’t know you people so what the hell…

1980: Carter vs. Reagan - my losing pick? Carter

1984: Reagan vs. Mondale - my losing pick? Mondale

1988: H.W. Bush vs. Dukakis - my losing pick? Dukakis

1992: H.W. Bush vs. Clinton v.s Perot - my losing pick ? Perot (I can’t explain this vote)

1996: Clinton vs. Dole vs. Perot - my losing pick? Perot (Maybe it was Ralph Nader? either way - loser)

2000: G.W. Bush vs. Gore - my losing pick? Gore

2004: G.W. Bush vs. Kerry - my losing pick? Kerry

As you can clearly see, any candidate I pick for president will lose. This obviously is a very powerful position to be in. I must carefully consider my next decision – because I am in control. Should I vote for who I really want to win and risk jinxing it for everyone else? Or should I be smart this time and vote for the guy I want to see lose? I really have a problem here people.

What do you think?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I'm Not Popular

In Europe there are accepted political views that most people adhere to. People say they would vote Democratic in a U.S. election (if they could), they really don’t like George You-know-who, they think green house gases are bad and are man's fault, etc. They also have a sort of "group-think" opinion on America. You know, the usual... the U.S. is the problem (whichever the ailment), Americans aren't very bright, they're violent, shallow, greedy, etc. They don't want to hear anything positive about the U.S. or it's people because that would not fit their accepted views. This is why it is much more profitable for newspaper articles, magazines, and websites to take an anti-U.S. view. It's what sells.

But what if you express a differing opinion than this norm? It's clear to me that you will be regarded with suspicion at the very least, but more likely with scorn and derision. Needles to say, you won't be very popular among the European masses.

Luckily for me (and my lonely site-meter counter), I’m not trying to be popular. I can toil away in obscurity forever because I’m not trying to make a buck. But what if I were? Would it be wise to express my unpopular opinions on my potentially money-making website?

I have to say that business and "non-accepted" political views are not a good mix in Europe. I can't imagine a business venture-type web site doing well if it expressed unpopular political opinions - or if it had anything positive to say about America or Americans. Of course, it would not be a problem for that same web site if it expressed the usual negative views.

So listen up entrepreneurs in Europe! If you happen to think the U.S. is not the root of all evil, or not the cause of everything bad in the past and present ..... stay popular and keep it under your hat. A differing viewpoint will NOT be tolerated and you will be judged right where it hurts - in the wallet.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Obsessed with Race

I’ve noticed that many Spanish journalists seem to have a vision of America that they have a hard time letting go of. The vision they are clinging to so tightly is one of a fundamentally racist American society. I guess this view makes them feel comfortable, maybe a little superior, and probably safe in their own prejudices and long held beliefs. They really seem to be obsessed with race. Well, at least race in America.

When I read articles like this one from El Pais, I can’t help thinking that the writer had to go out of his way to find what he was looking for. He quotes Harley Davidson riders in the deep South, Rednecks in a gun store, and mentions the KKK several times like it actually has any relevance anymore. Maybe I’m crazy and I probably have been living in a racially mixed society for too long, but in my American world people are not running around talking about the colors of the candidates. They are talking ideology, experience, our taxes – the usual stuff.

There are also some quotes that are real gems in this article too:

“If God was black and Satan was white, there would be Americans willing to forget heaven and burn in hell at the hand of the white demon.”

And I love this one – the obligatory dig at fatso Americans:

“Susan, forty years old, enemy of diets and gastronomic moderation, sells clothes from the front of her house … etc. etc.”

It seems like the writer of the article really wants Obama to lose. If Obama loses – he will be correct in his beliefs. Americans will be proved racist and it will be clear for all to see. If the unthinkable happens (in his eyes) and Obama should win, then there will have to be an explanation. I wonder what that explanation will be? I’m sure El Pais will let me know.

Of course everyone knows that race does play a part in this election. There obviously are racist idiots in America who will vote against Obama because he is black – just like there are many people who will vote for him just because he is black. But can we get a little credit for how far we have come in the race relation area at least? A black American is the Democratic candidate for president after all. That's pretty good guys.

Well, if El Pais won’t say it I will. No matter what happens in this election - Nice work fat Americans! You have come a long way trying to get along together – now go on that diet.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Keeping it Interesting

Well, at least the Americans give the rest of the world something to talk about. It might be about complete world financial ruin and how did those Cowboys do it to us? Or maybe it’s where the latest war is going to be, etc. But there is no denying that when we cause stories – they are big ones. The world should thank us. We’re keeping it interesting. Face it, life would be so boring without us.

There’s the presidential race that the whole world wishes they could vote in with a cast of characters right from an American movie. We’ve got the semi-hot vice presidential nominee who it looks like might be an air-head (we’ll find out more tonight). There’s the war hero who has to remind everyone every five minutes of his time spent in a Viet Nam prison. There’s the son of an African immigrant with the pushy wife who was abandoned by his father as a child but may be the next President of the United States. In short, interesting.

What else is fun for you guys to talk about? People can walk around with guns in their pockets in some states - legally. That is always good for a newspaper story at least once every month.

There’s the movie and music business. People in Europe know much more about it than I do, and I’m from L.A. Everyone has an opinion too. They may say that all American movies suck but they still watch them – and talk about them.

We have last season’s characters in the persons of George W. and Dick Cheney. Wow, did they ever entertain the folks for the last eight years! There really is no denying that.

It’s always fun to blame us too. That never gets old (and sometimes we deserve it). Global warming, terrorism, financial ruin, rampant racism, greed. I’ll let you decide which ones we deserve the blame for … (I know you'll say "all of the above"). You guys can discuss it at the bar.

What's coming next? I know the world will be glued to their TV’s, laptops and newspapers waiting to find out. I wish we could sell this stuff and make some money… It might help pull us out of our latest catastrophe.