So I was out doing errands today and in so doing I had to go into an official City of Madrid building. Of course they have security and a metal detector, and as I passed through the metal detector - it beeped.
“Do you have anything metalico?” Asked the guard.
“I have llaves.” I replied.
While I removed my keys and went through the archway a second time a conversation was struck up between us based upon my accent and strange looks.
Noting my white-boy face the guard joked, “Where are you from? Almeria?
People from Almeria are more on the Moreno side.
Flattered that he didn’t say North Dakota, and not quite realizing the joke, I responded, “No California.”
This of course is an invitation to immediately launch into the usual “Bush comments”. The guard was enjoying himself now.
“Bush, he’s your friend huh? You know he’s crazy.”
Ignoring the “crazy” part I said, “Obama’s my friend now, haven’t you heard of him?” Trying to let him know that the amount of “hate Bush days”, are numbered. This kind of stuff used to bother me but now I’m over it. More good-natured banter ensued while I gathered my belongings out of the machine.
“Am I in the right place to pay the IBI (a kind of tax)?” I asked.
He assured me that I was, but he wasn’t done with me yet. He had a new line of questioning to pursue.
“Hey,” he said. “My friend in Long Island says that there are two kinds of Social Security taxes in America, one for the rich people and another for the poor people."
“Oh yeah”, I replied, “Is this friend of yours American or Spanish?”
“Neither, he’s South American" ( I can’t remember the country).
“Well,” I broke the bad news, “You are not getting good information. There is only one Social Security tax, it’s just that the rich people are probably not going to depend on the benefits.”
Undaunted he continued, “ You know, whenever I tell my friend in Long Island that I don’t really like Americans (me caen mal), he gets real mad at me. He says that everyone is very nice to him over there."
Amazed that he would say this to my face, for once I didn’t completely stand there at a loss for words.
“Hey, what’s your name?” I asked.
“Jose”
“Encantado Jose, soy Carlos. Hey Jose, How many Americans do you know?"
“ I only know the ones on TV.”
That’s what the man said, gentle readers. I shit you not.
8 comments:
Well at least he didn't tell you that you like to eat too many 'unhealthy' hamburgers.
I simply love it when Spaniards try to tell me what I like or believe, just because I happen to be from the U.S.
I feel like I should say, "Oh sure, you know should better than I do what I do / like / believe."
Too bad it was a security situation or you could have joked about carry a gun.
What a guy!
Valiente gilipollas ignorante y palurdo. No se como tuviste la paciencia de aguantarle. Lo siento Carl, me da vergüenza ajena. En defensa de los españoles diré que no todos somos así, y que no creas que ese tipo de gente solo ataca a los americanos. A mi me han pasado cosas parecidas aqui en Madrid: ¿en Burgos sois todos fachas, no? (yo soy de Burgos), ¿que hay en Burgos? ¿hay árboles en Castilla? ¿por qué tienes ese acento tan raro?. En fin, que hay mucho palurdo que no ha salido de su barrio.
Of course I know this guy is just not that bright. I have tons of great experiences with lovely Spanish people. It's just that the story was too good to pass up.
The guy actually was very nice. I told him that now he has met a real live American without horns and a tail.
This one-sided view reminded me of another one that was held for a while in Germany.
In the 70s everyone watched J.R. Ewing in "Dallas" making the average German believe that most Americans were rich.
The things we learn from TV...
What's funny is now they believe we're all poor. (Or they would like to believe).
Carl,
We are poor! The euro is kicking our red-white-and-blue ass!
Anyway, this is great stuff. I wish you had had a hidden camera with you to have filmed this little exchange.
Maybe you're right Bilingual. At least you are spending (I assume) Euros in Madrid.
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